IN THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS

I always thought as a child growing up that happiness meant having a luxurious home, car, having a wealthy and wickedly handsome husband, preferably a lawyer or doctor, two fabulous kids, a boy and a girl preferably and a super job and thousands of dollars to spend. It never dawned on me then, that to have all these things was not the formula for a happy life. I grew up in a crappy family but I never let that hinder me from aspiring to achieve, yes, my luxurious home, car you know the rest. I never let disappointments hold me back or keep me down for long. I would cry my eyes out and ask God, why me? And then I would delve into self pity for a while but I always manage to snap out of it, pick myself up and plunder on with a renewed hope that one day it would be ok.

For the most part of my high school years, I tirelessly worked hard to achieve good grades but my mom and dad were too wrapped up in their own lives to even bother to even notice. You see, my mom and dad were never meant to be together. They fought so often that I thought for a long time that that was what a family should be. By my third year in high school, my mom and dad split, I guess with their lifestyle, a divorce was inevitable. My brother and I were left with our mom and my dad moved to another county.

Things at home were ok for a while until my mom had to get a second job. There went my social life! Most of the time, I had to baby-sit my little brother who was then seven years old. Even with two jobs, it was hard for my mom to cope. The bills kept rolling in and her pay kept on shrinking. My mom lost one of her jobs and later I discovered where her money was going and why some of the bills were unpaid. My mom went from a social drinker to a hardcore alcoholic. As the alcohol took over, my mom lost her next job. For a while I hated my mom and my dad even more. I vowed to never turn out like them; I could never see myself living a dreary and poor life like they had.

I must have seen my dad once after he left. My brother and I had a pleasant surprise visit from him almost six months after he moved out. He took us to the movies, bought us dinner and gave us money. He made promises of coming to visit us regularly but after his visit, he never called or visited us again. I never saw him again until I was twenty five. He had the nerve to turn up at my wedding, drunk with water draining from his mouth like a leaking tap. My mom had secretly

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