by Carlene Wooddell

Created on: June 12, 2008

At one time I would have said absolutely not. If you are not happy in your marriage and see no signs of change for the good, then it's time to decide if you really are "made out" for being in a marriage.

Now after being married, twice to the same man, and divorced twice, I have a different perspective. Because after all the turmoil and stress (accumulating now 15 years), we have remarried for the last time.

If you only stay married to your spouse because it is easier, than deciding who will get custody of the children, or dividing material possesions, than that is definitely the wrong reasons to stay in a relationship. Many people assume that when you marry someone, life will be just as rosy and fun as when you were dating. The problem is, being married, is hard work and no one should enter into this union without giving it much thought and consideration.

Many people decide it is easier to stay married because there are children involved and children have enough to deal with, without the pain of divorce. However, if parents are on the verge of divorce, than chances are the children are aware of the problems in the home and are not really happy either. It's easier for children to fantasize everything will be okay eventually. If you are staying married regardless of whether you are happy or not, you really need to ask yourself why. Have you tried counseling together to see if just maybe, it is something that needs to be talked out and worked out before throwing in the towel.

Our first marriage, lasted for six years, but due to addictions and lack of communication and becoming co-dependant, it was easier to stay married instead of working out the problems that were causing the problems in the first place. And God did not create anyone to be in a loveless marriage.

Our second marriage, lasted for 2 1/2 years, too much of the past was part of the problem and still not enough communication. Each person doing their own thing, neither wanting to compromise and the main reason, in my opinion, was God was not in the center of our lives, our marriage. We prayed when times were really dire, but not daily.

As a Christian, I feel it is very important, to have God first in our lives every moment of every day. We have learned to pray together, to spend quality alone time, without the kids, running errands, going on a date once a month and really listening to what the other person is saying.

I think it is a tragedy that it took two marriages and two divorces, and hitting rock bottom

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