Four years ago my company hired a new analyst and we became fast friends. He made it no secret that he was gay and took great joy in going to lunch with us girls and talking about everything under the sun. I could confide in him, joke with him, and lean on him for professional and personal support.
Just when I thought I knew most everything about him, such as his abusive childhood, miserable recent break-up, and likes and dislikes, he sat down in my cube one day and whispered, "Can I show you something?"
"Sure," I replied.
He uncovered a fabulous 8*10 glossy photo of a woman in makeup and a sequined dress. She wore earrings that twinkled like stars and her hair was perfectly coifed, with a hibiscus flower tucked behind the right ear. She appeared graceful and poised, and could have modeled for any magazine.
I said, "Wow, she is gorgeous!"
"That's me", he said in a hushed tone.
"SHUT UP. You're HOT!" I told him.
And that brief conversation was my first very intimate look at the GLBT world (and no, not every gay man is a drag queen and not every gay woman wears plaid flannel shirts). My family supported "Joe's" bid to become regional Empress (which he won in a landslide victory over the opponent), we went to his benefit shows (which were fabulous, by the way), and attended his college graduation (he earned his master's degree in business). He talked about finding the right person, having kids, and moving home to be closer to his family. He talked about and desired the things that all of us want. He didn't talk about or desire them because he was gay, and I don't talk about or desire them because I'm straight. He's not "my gay friend, Joe". He's "my friend, Joe".
Another friend I met through work, "Dave", has been with his partner for almost 15 years. They have a better relationship than most heterosexual couples I know, but their relationship isn't better BECAUSE they're gay. It's just BETTER.
Before "Joe" moved back home to be closer to his family, he came to my children's birthday parties, joined my husband and I for dinner, and we talked on the phone regularly. He is currently a vice president of a GLBT organization within a very large corporation and is happier than he's ever been.
"Dave" and "Joe" and the rest of the gay and lesbian community deserve the same benefits we heterosexuals receive. This is not "special" treatment, not a "perk", and not a "luxury". It's equal, fair, and non-discriminatory.
It's not a religious issue any more than race, creed, or heritage. I can only hope that my children love and value their relationships with friends and family as much as "Joe" does his, and that they find love as deeply as "Dave" and his partner. And should my children fall in love with a person of the same sexual orientation and marry, I pray that one day they have all the benefits that their father and I have as a straight couple.