by Sara Mcgrath

Created on: June 11, 2008

When I first considered having my two-year-old daughter present at her sister's birth, I had concerns such as: Will she get scared? Will she distract me? However, despite my worries, I felt that my young daughter would benefit from witnessing labor and birth and would form an immediate bond with her newborn sibling. Besides, I wanted her there with here father and me for this special family event.

I began to prepare my toddler for the birth and the new sibling by talking about my growing baby. I referred to the baby as "our baby" to include my daughter in our expectation. We awaited the new baby as a gift to our whole family.

We read children's stories about new siblings and watched children's videos about welcoming a new sibling. From there, we moved on to actual birth videos to prepare my daughter for the sights and sounds of labor and childbirth. I didn't want her to become frightened.

My daughter accompanied me to childbirth classes and prenatal appointments. We ended up deciding on a home birth where we would all feel more comfortable. I felt it was important that my daughter get to know the midwife and her assistants long before the birth day arrived. I didn't want her to encounter any unfamiliar people or places on that special day.

As our due date neared, my daughter and I went for many walks around our neighborhood. I told her that I was trying to get labor started, and she asked, "Where is your labor?" as if it was a destination we were heading for.

When my labor began we camped out in our front room. I labored all night and periodically rested between my husband and daughter. In the morning, with labor in full swing, my daughter wiped my forehead with a wet cloth and rubbed my back. "That's better," she assured me. She acted as a little midwife, assisting during my labor. I felt so proud of her, and this really added to my labor experience.

Upon our baby's emergence, my toddler cuddled up next to me to gaze at her new sister. I credit her presence at the birth with their very close bond. She knows more about labor and birth than I knew going into it for the first time as an adult. I'm glad to have given my daughter that experience.

The experience went so beautifully that I am currently preparing my second daughter to witness our third baby's upcoming birth. We've been watching those birth videos again. Both girls watch the videos with rapt attention. My first daughter tells her sister about when she saw her be born and about how she helped. My youngest daughter's eyes widen. She can't wait to meet the new baby.

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