In any relationship, trust has to be one of the most important values in order to make it work. When that trust has been broken by either person in the relationship, things will never be the same.
There was a time when a man and a woman stayed together through thick and thin. They dealt with their problems and worked it out. It was expected of them to take their vows and to make them for life, or till death do they part.
Things are so very different now. People change partners as often as they do their clothes. There doesn't seem to be any meaning to the word Love. Lust fits the world more now. Everybody has an excuse as to why they do what they do.
My ex-husband told me that he could love me, and still have relations with someone else because it didn't mean anything. It was just sex. My feelings shouldn't be hurt because it was me that he loved. How dumb did he think I was? I, on the other hand had already been there with my first husband, so I knew all the excuses and all the lies.
If you're involved with someone who is married or in a relationship, you'd better think long and hard before you commit to anything. If they cheat with you, I guarantee, they will cheat on you. They're good at it. Every cheater has his/her own lines. "My spouse doesn't understand me. My spouse is cheating on me, so why not. Not enough time for each other, The kids are always around, or the kids will wake up." It's a never-ending excuse that's nothing but a lie.
How can someone really love you, and cheat with another on the side. Is nothing sacred anymore? They will do it again, some never stop. They got away with it once, it's a piece of cake. That way the cheater can have the best of both worlds. Meanwhile, two others get hurt, and what about any children that might be involved?
Even if you try to work it out, there will always be doubt. Everytime they are late from work, or they have to go out of town on business. The phone rings, and everytime you pick it up, the unknown person on the other end hangs up. I use to find little love letters in my husband's uniform shirts. They had been written by a 16 year old mentally challenged girl. She never denied it. He couldn't, and it was still going on when I finally left.
He told me one time that he was better at cheating than I ever could be, so don't bother to try it. I just wanted away from him. He had this obsession about other women. He didn't care how old they were, just how willing they were.
There's a big difference between love and sex. In your marriage, love is to come first and foremost. Sex is just a fringe benefit. It's not a game, It's not a reward, nor is it a punishment. It is the oneness that brings two together in love.
If you're trying to work out a marriage or a relationship, God bless you. It won't be easy. It's hard to forget that kind of pain. It's hard to ever feel that same love, or feel that you can trust them again. Everytime they hold you, you wonder who they're really thinking about. Are you being compared to the others?
If you're involved with someone that has a roving eye, or constantly watches others of the opposite sex, this person has an issue with commitment. They want their cake and eat it to. Someone always gets hurt, and rejection for one or the other is so very painful. Don't put yourself in a position to get hurt. It's better to walk away now, rather than be the one who is now being cheated on.
One of the biggest excuses is "it only happen that one time." They promise never to do it again. Until next time. The more they get away with it, the more comfortable they feel in doing it. You're still there, so they aren't worried. Don't let life be cruel to you. Make a stand, and save yourself from a lot of pain.
If by chance you feel that there is a chance for your relationship to work out, you definately need to communicate with each other. All the cards have to be put on the table regardless of how bad it hurts. Discuss the pain. Discuss the reasoning as to why one or the other of you felt compelled to cheat on someone you are suppose to love.
My son and his wife go out on a date once a week. They pick a place they both agree on, and the night is theirs. They have a tiny baby now, but all couples need time for each other if anything is to work out.
It isn't going to be easy. Nothing in the world of today is ever easy. There are too many willing people of both sexes available, when your life is at a stand still. Ask yourself if it's worth giving up your family and most everything you own to find a cheap thrill. You will find that the word cheap can cost you everything, including your children. The most precious gift's God has given you.
Go back to the love you started with. Love doesn't die if it was real in the first place. Sure, Problems arise. They do in every relationship. That's part of life. Haven't you ever heard that the fighting was bad, but the making up was awesome. Try it, you might like it.
Believe me, Living alone and growing old alone is pretty empty sometimes. The kids all leave home, and the nights are so long. You roll over and the other side of the bed is empty and all you have for comfort is a pillow. It's just not the same.
People just don't try anymore. I don't know the answer to that. I was married more than once and none of them worked out. Too much baggage from one marriage to the other can control your life. Comparing one spouse with the next one is your worst enemy. No two people are alike. Why would you want to marry someone like the one you just divorced?
I loved my first husband so much, and he cheated on me. He abused me, and yet, the love for him never died. I should never have remarried. That is a lot of today's problems. People are use to the marriage lifestyle, so they jump right back into it for the comfort and security. It's not the same. You have to let go of one life before you can move on to the next one.
Cheating is never the answer. It destroys trust, and faith in the one you love. People always get hurt. Look into the eyes of a child as mommy or daddy drive away. Explain to them, if you can, why mommy or daddy isn't coming back. If there's even the slightest chance to work it out, give it a try. If it doesn't work out, at least you will know that you gave it your best shot.