by Dorothy Marie Kucera

Created on: June 11, 2008

A "bad" Dad's day gift from a wife to her husband is one that does not match the guy's "love language." I attended a seminar and bought the author's book about the FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES thirty years too late. After marrying a man who has the opposite language from me, I proceeded to waste his money and inflict upon him the largest array of unwanted gifts year after year-items that he very graciously accepted and thanked me for buying. My love language is words and gifts but his love language is acts of service. I would never have imagined such a thing in my whole life as a young bride. Acts of service include letting him go places, also. Not exactly the type of thing that you wrap in a box.

In the early years of marriage, I felt sentimental so his gifts included elaborate, sentimental cards and poetry I wrote and intricate photographic collages featuring him in his early years or with me from places we traveled. Items like an engraved identification bracelet, my homemade resin molds with his high school award pins and other awards embedded therein or "cute" homemade resin tie pins with little golf clubs or tennis racquets in them. After all, he had been quite the athlete and I wanted him to feel his accomplishments in life were part of our home for others to see. My stuff was "out." It was only fair to include his awards which far exceeded mine. Wouldn't he love to have such paper weights on display? I noticed that none of them ever moved from the spot in which they were placed. The bracelet was never worn but carefully stored out of sight in his Dad's wooden jewelry box. Cards were always left on the table or couch where he had opened them. I was the one who always had to pick them up and store them. Surely they would hold meaning for him later in life? It did not hurt my feelings-I was too wrapped up in thinking of more novel ideas-determined to hit upon just the right thing.

Finally, I began to purchase gifts that were more practical. Ties and tie pins! I was learning how to help him coordinate his wardrobe. This was fun since I love color and designs and jewelry. I had fun with elegant tie pins. Polite thank yous, one set worn, none others used, then he reverted back to the first set he had gotten as a teenager. Familiar. Comfortable.

I knew nothing about the styles of ties that he really liked-I purchased what I thought looked neat. I could never get much of any information out of him. All he would say is "Anything is fine" and smile. I did not understand

• 1
• 2
• 3
• Next Page >>