by Barbara King

Created on: June 11, 2008

When I saw the title of this article I figured this shouldn't be so hard to write.

"Honey," I called to my spouse. "What's a bad Father's Day gift?"

"What?"

"What's a bad Father's Day gift?"

"A BAD Father's Day gift?!" I wasn't getting anywhere too fast here, I noticed.

"I don't know... maybe women's underwear!"

Okay, I guess he's right, but that's not exactly where my thought process had been going.

A bad Father's Day gift is something that the man of the house already has many of and is functional, like a tie or a shirt. This is not exciting or creative or even faintly satisfying. Let's face it, all shirts and ties look the same, except for color and pattern. The Dad's I'm most familiar with, don't care about color or pattern, because their favorite shirt has been washed so much, there isn't much pattern or color left. All these Dad's care about is comfort.

A big "no-no" is giving the Dad that is an avid sport fan a jersey or other sport paraphernalia of the rival team. Take it from me, even if this is done as a joke, they will fail to see the humor in it.

Getting the sportsman the wrong driver, latest reel, or rod with the flexible tip that isn't exactly what he wanted will only lead to a polite hug. The item will sit in the garage gathering dust until your off-spring show an interes. This may very far in the future, especially if your youngsters aren't even crawling yet.

Another bad gift would be a tool that does not have a cord or a battery pack. The thrill is definitely all gone if there is no surge of power at the push of a finger or that reassuring whine of a small motor to let you know that you are in control and will right the wobbly step, the loose doorknob, or build the new playground.

Right up there with the powerless tool, for missing the mark of good gifts, is any gift that is not electronic. If it doesn't ring, vibrate, take pictures, connect to the internet, play video games or allow you to watch a video, what earthly good is it? Also, any television without HD and a super big remote is only worth a peck on the cheek.

But the worse gift of all is the one your little one made so carefully and you have spent ten minutes trying to guess what it is, while that sweet little face looks sadder and sadder. You look to your spouse for help and she looks even more puzzled than you do. Finally you throw up your hands and say, "You just have to tell Daddy cause his brain just isn't working too good today." Then the sun comes out again and you don't have to worry about any more "unidentifiable lumps" until next year.

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