by Elle Kamino

Created on: June 10, 2008

Parenting in Balance

One of the finest lines a parent will ever balance upon is the line between holding on to their children and giving them the room they need to grow.

Holding children too tightly could easily encourage a fear to grow in a place and a time where wonder should, in fact, be blossoming; however, holding children far from tightly enough could encourage the exact opposite to come to light in a constant need to test the boundaries of life. Somewhere between these two extremes lies the one place where every parent strives, each in their own way, to build upon the relationship that will perhaps become the most defining one of their lives.

As a parent it is natural instinct to want to shield and protect little ones from every kind of hurt that exists. Children fall down. Children bump their heads, they scrape their knees, they get upset, they get sick, they cry, all of which are part of growing and learning. Difficult to have to watch happen to one's own child? Absolutely! But, all of these things mixed in along with every other hurt they will ultimately encounter throughout their growing years are necessary in order for a child to become the adult they are meant to grow into. To know what it means to hurt ultimately brings with it the ability to empathise. For a child to have scraped knees kissed, cleaned and bandaged by his or her parent will ensure that when the time comes that memory will return to guide that child, now an adult, to kiss, clean and bandage the scraped knees of their own children.

Being a child is a tough thing to have to do and being the parent of a child is, perhaps, even more so, in very different ways, of course. Having sudden and utter responsibility for a brand new life can be incredibly daunting in the greatest of lights but for those who choose to take on the challenge it can and should be the most extraordinary challenge of all. Nothing in this world can compare to the feel of tiny arms squeezing tight in a hug that just won't end. Nothing can lift a spirit like that of a child's face radiant with pure glee just as nothing can compare to sharing the sorrow of the tears that are sure to fall.

As a young child I clung to my mother's legs. I wasn't afraid of the world but just terribly, painfully shy and in ways I suppose I always will be simply because it's part of my nature; it's who I am. It's only because of the constant yet gentle urging of my mother that I did finally find my voice, that I did become willing to let go of her legs just enough to be able to realize the strength of my own two. A parent's belief can't help but to imprint what a child believes about his or her own self. I was shy; my mom made it clear that I didn't have to be and as soon as I allowed myself to realize that she was right, life became easier in ways I could never before have imagined.

I know that having to watch children learn that to falter is to live, is far from fun to have to do but in a way, it can be the greatest lesson of all. My own mother taught me what I know has been my greatest lesson. By holding me she assured me that she would always be with me and by encouraging me she assured me that I could believe in the power of my own self. She taught me that when I fall I can pull myself back up, dust myself off and start myself forward again. The belief that I can always rise from whatever it is that has taken me down will always be thanks to being held just tightly enough along with an extra tight squeeze mixed in whenever it was and still is needed.

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