by Michelle Ladd

Created on: June 10, 2008

The day finally arrives when you get to meet your little one for the first time. Mom goes on maternity leave and stays home to recouperate and take care of her wonderful new bundle of joy. Should her husband get to stay home too? I mean what does he need to do? Well the answer is there is alot to do with a new baby. If you have a child you can look back and remember how hard it was during those first couple of weeks.

The first thing that catches new parents of guard is the sheer exhaustion that comes with a new baby. You have to get up every couple of hours and be awake enough to feed and diaper your baby. You then have to rock it to sleep and sing to it. If you have a collicky baby then it is nothing to have to pace back and forth making little shushing noises or singing and gently bouncing the baby. Then just as you get the little one back to sleep and your head hits your pillow again then you have to get back up and do it all over again. One thing people sometimes forget to tell you about parenthood is that having broken up sleep can feel about the same as having no sleep for days and days at a time.

The second thing that surprises new parents is that most of the time there are people everywhere. Every family member and friend is suddenly at your house all the time. You are very rarely alone. This can be helpful if it is people that will do things around the house to help you but most of the time as a mother we women feel guilty that there just isn't time to do the dishes and clean the house. There is baby stuff everywhere and you just can't find the energy to figure out where everything should go, clean the house and take care of your new baby especially after you have had about 6 hours of sleep that was broken up between about three or more feedings.

The last thing that I really think of when I look back to when my little one was first born is that there just isn't time for you anymore. Now really as a new mother that isn't so bad. I know I didn't want to leave my baby and go somewhere but I really would just love to get into the bath with a nice book and relax for about an hour. It is really important to your sanity that you get some "you" time. Now I know this sounds kind of selfish but its really not. It is good for your baby if you have a little break and feel refreshed so you can have the energy to take care of him or her. It's not like you want to go somewhere forever you just want to get into the bathroom and get clean and unwind a little without having a baby in the room with you and possibly needing you to cut your shower or bath short so that you can feed him or her.

All of this added together can really work on your mental stability. It is my belief that every new mother has at least one break down. I know I did. My husband was asleep, I was alone and just so tired I couldn't think straight. My sister whom I was lucky to have live with me at the time came home to find me bawling my eyes out on the couch while trying to get my baby to stop crying. She sent me to bed and took care of my daughter for a couple of hours. You wouldn't believe how wonderful I felt after that. This is why I think it is a great idea for fathers to have as much FMLA leave as a mother. They can help! The father can clean, take turns getting up at night (something you would feel bad about if they had to get up at 6 a.m. to go to work), and they can give you a little break so you can have that bubblebath with a nice book. It could really relieve some of the new mom exhaustion. I know that they don't need to recouperate. They didn't have to carry a child for months then be in labor for hours but them being home can help make your transition into motherhood just a little easier.

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