by Kristen Alliegro

Created on: June 10, 2008

Mothers, wives, partners often encourage or are encouraged to purchase a gift for the male in their life who may be primary father-figure in their child(ren)'s life. Frequently this is a fairly simple affair by paying close attention to the expression of their desires as verbilized from the newest electronic video game system to the big screen television or perhaps a long awaited movie release on DVD. From high ticket to low market, the perfect gift, is ultimately, easy to obtain as long as the funds are available to do so.

In a world where money is frequently used as an expression of love, value and/or appreciation, we are teaching children the frivolity of buying affection. Gratitude is defaced and devalued in comparison to the dollar. Time is at a premium as well. It is much faster to hit the mall in between errands, grab a gift, visit the Gift Wrap Center and move on to the next "honey do" item on the list. The days of tradition are fading fast, and with it, a rich assortment of memories and gifts of the moment, shattered in a flurry of have-to's and must-have's.

No one gift idea is going to be perfect for all people. The most valuable gift that can be given are the ones that genuinely express value, appreciation and love. Frequently what that means for the other adult(s) in the lives of the father-figure and the child is determining not only what the adult male might desire but also what the child(ren) might be capable of. Remember, this is not Spouse's Day, Husband's Day or Significant Other's Day. Of course those other adult relationships are important and their appreciation and value of the role of "father" is critical - however, this is truly a time for the child(ren) to reflect on the meaningfulness of their relationship with the adult male in their lives. Adults should show that level of respect and value every day, to be an example for the child(ren). This leaves a much broader area for an opportunity of showmanship on Father's Day - to see every day what appreciation looks like. Appreciation also does not have to come with a significant price tag.

Some examples may be for the children to plan, help prepare and share their favorite meal. Why theirs instead of the father's? Because it is sharing something significant to them with someone who is meaningfull to them. Sharing can be one of the hardest lessons for any child, and to share a favorite in any capacity can be a tremendous gift.

If there's a favorite sporting hobby that "Dad" has, then working

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