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Humor: Asperger's syndrome

A man with Asperger's Syndrome walks into a bar. When he came to, he said, "25 cm in circumference, 10 cm in diameter, and I will just bet the goose-egg on my forehead is about 3cm thick. I was so intent on analyzing the bar that I totally misjudged the slope in the floor."

If you are an Aspie, then you are at least mildly amused right now. If you are Neuro-Typical, then you are at least mildly confused.

Aspies have a different perspective on just about every subject in the world, including humor. The Neuro-Typicals of the world would do well to sit up and take notice, since you don't want to miss all the excellent skills that God has provided for you in the individuals that you have labeled, Asperger's Syndrome!

The way humans put up signs these days is uproariously funny!

Car trips are great for recharging the health of the heart because the mere act of keeping one's eyes open leads to no end of laughs.

I love the signs placed at the front of new housing developments, "Lots for Sale!" Out pops the thought, "Okay! Lots of what?"

How about the helpful sign placed near irregularities on the route that you are driving. "Dip in the Road!" To which I respond, "Same to you, Buddy!" :}

Am I the only poor fool in the world who has driven up to an ATM, and been unable to make my transaction because I am laughing so hard at the braille letters on a machine that is ostensibly for motorists?

Asperger's individuals (i.e. Aspies) have lived so much of their lives under the cloud of "being the bane of Society" that we have just accepted the fact that respect is for everybody else but us.

When you start expecting people to call you an "a__hole" just because you exist, and really are "being yourself," then you start to make jokes about the fact the majority of "others" think that you are trying to ruin their lives and "mess up on purpose."

I have quipped to family and friends that if I ever write an autobiography, I will have to title it, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, But Jay Is From Uranus... (I know that is slightly uncouth, but it really gets the point across that Aspies understand that we are Society's Emotional Latrine.)

Often I feel like my favorite dog joke. When two dogs met one introduced himself to the other with the words, "Hi! My name's 'No! No! Bad Dog!' What's yours?"

The split-personalities of some people would be just too funny, if it wasn't


Below are the top articles rated and ranked by Helium members on:

Humor: Asperger's syndrome

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    The Humorous Side of Asperger's Syndrome Brent is a very thoughtful little boy with bright eyes and a big smile th... read more

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    by Jay O'Toole

    A man with Asperger's Syndrome walks into a bar. When he came to, he said, "25 cm in circumference, 10 cm in diamete... read more

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