by Kodjo Adadevoh

Created on: June 08, 2008

Abuse, especially at the hands of a parent, boss, spouse or rapist can have lasting consequence for the victim.

Most of us know someone, either at work, church, and school or in our neighborhoods that is obviously suffering from the scars of abuse. This individual is the one who is extremely sensitive to how he or she is spoken to and is easily offended. This individual always seeks approval from his or her peers. Do you recall knowing someone like this? These behaviors are a consequence of long term psychological abuse, in which this individuals self esteem has been damaged by words or actions that serve only to make the individual feel small or unimportant.

Have you worked with someone who always has to make a point or is always trying to prove something? This behavior trait is a consequence of events that occurred at some point in the person life and have shaped the personality of these individuals. Our behavior and outlook on life is a consequence of our upbringing and environmental or social exposure. People, who are always trying to prove a point, tend to be individuals who do not feel secure, and are easily threaten. A significant number of these individuals come across as knowledgeable and confident, but ask yourself, is it a normal social interaction to always speak out of turn and not listen to the other side. Remember Hitler? Megalomania is not a normal state.

For a large number of women, their relationship with an abusive partner sets the stage for all of the future relationships. A lot of women are promiscuous because they are seeking approval from a man; they think this is a way to please a man. Women who accept both physical and psychological abuse in relationships are suffering the consequence of their damaged self esteem.

Some of us have worked with a boss that is never happy, never satisfied and as a consequence lashes out at her or his employees. They use inappropriate language and use the threat of job loss as a tool to manipulate employees. Those employees with self-confidence work to correct this problem by standing up to the obnoxious boss, otherwise they leave to find more suitable employment. However, the work environment affects the poor individuals who due to their personality type are unable to stand up for themselves or find another job, and their experiences scar them for life.

In my opinion, parents and the various school systems and churches play a significant part in shaping and preparing children for their life journey. You can usually tell when you meet an individual who was raised to be secure, who was loved and nurtured to be a productive citizen. Likewise, you can tell an individual who grew up in a deprived environment, or an individual who was both physically and mentally abused. To me this is the greatest sin, because even those that end up escaping their environments still end up carry the baggage of abuse for the rest of their lives. I have met many very successful professionals who still have the scars from their childhood.

The effects of physical violation of a female or male by a rapist last a lifetime. There is no way to forget, these individuals just have to learn to live with the experience. As humans, we all need to spend a lot more time evaluating the effect of our actions and behaviors on others. It is for this reason that a lot of celebrities are held to higher standards than the general populace, they are perceived to be role models. Whether we agree or not with the role of celebrities as role models, we can all agree that those that set good examples are surely doing a good deed for society.

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