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you can get trapped and grounded in a web of chaos that relies mainly upon guilt.

For example, you feel guilty for wanting more, because you feel as though love of whom the person is should be enough. So you feel selfish and egotistical for wanting more or even believing you deserve more. Out of guilt, you allow yourself to continue on this path. It's not that you stopped loving him; you just realized it wasn't the kind of love that binds a true and lasting relationship. However, you may feel that you have an obligation to them, because the extent, time, and effort put into the relationship by the both of you. You convince yourself that it would be a waste of a good relationship to just end it, because you merely don't find him or her attractive the way you once did.

Attraction and chemistry to one another is the basic understanding between the two of you. Without it, there wouldn't have been a relationship or a need or want to have one. When the spark is gone and if there is no way of getting that spark back, the same rules still apply when you first met each other. You find yourself not being attracted to that person that way and through the guilt for not having these feelings anymore you just take one for the team. Your desires shouldn't be taken for granted and put on the backburner for the sake of the relationship. The reason for a relationship in the first place is to celebrate what you have together and grow together. But if the reason behind having a relationship loses its meaning and purpose along the way, there is no reason to have a relationship.

The most important sign (to me at least) is WHEN YOU START TO BECOME INTERESTED IN OTHER PEOPLE. This is the true indicator. People might blame it on a roving eye or a weakness for lust or your weakness to infidelity, but what this really indicates is that you find someone more attractive. Yes, maybe it is initially a physical attraction. However, the reaction itself should cause a person to reflect on why they feel inclined or persuaded to be attracted by another person. It is when this attraction blossoms to being attracted to someone, because of their personality and who they are is when it is a clear reality check. To put it bluntly, they have what your significant other doesn't have and will never be able to give you.

No, it's not even about superficially comparing them to your loved one. It's the fact that you don't have the connection you had or maybe never did have with them as you do with another person. This person acts as a mirror for you to see what you are truly missing out on and what you deserve. If you were in a healthy, happy, and loving relationship, an opportunity like this would never happen and never make you doubt your relationship.

The signs are all there. It's learning to listen to oneself, trust your instincts (because I guarantee those doubts are floating your mind), and learning how to come to terms with the reality of everything. Putting blame on yourself or even them will not eliminate the problem. Avoiding the issue altogether won't make it any easier either.

It has never been your job to find or be of pursuit of true love, because ultimately, you can't make someone love you. Love just happens. When your relationship is deteriorating and your heart isn't in the right place anymore, you can't make yourself love them no matter how hard you try. What had been there before isn't there now; it's best to face the reality of it and not prolong the inevitable. Just because the love isn't there anymore doesn't mean you can't hurt them. So do what is best for yourself, because in the end, it will be what is best for the both of you in the long-run.

Learn more about this author, Mae M. G..
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