by Levi Ritchie

Created on: June 07, 2008   Last Updated: November 03, 2008

I remember being in middle school awhile back. Anything you weren't supposed to do was cool, everything new was hip, and MTV manufactured everyone's cultural existence. One thingI distinctly remembered, as well, was that, to middle schoolers included myself, everything seemed incredibly hilarious, or at least was cool to laugh at, as long as it was edgy, gross, crude, or inappropriate. I suppose young teenagers feel this way because it makes them feel like they are entering the world of "grownup" comedy.

This would most likely explain why the creators of Scary Movie aren't on the street begging for change (most likely telling bad jokes, as well) right now. I was honestly surprised when Date Movie came out. Had it not been only months since the previous (insert genre) movie came out? Since the writing of this article, several more (insert genre) movies have been released. I would say that they "continue to decline in quality", but claiming that anything could have been less funny than the Date movie would be silly and just plain unethical to all you readers out there.

The Date Movie is composed of parodies of various romantic comedies. You might hear a joke from one of these comedies reused and treated like new in Date Movie. What you will not hear, however, is a laughing person in the room over the age of 14, unless you happen to be the producer and that person happens to be your mother. Just kidding. I'm quite confident the producers of this movie have already harvested the souls of their parents, shoved them into a blender, dumped in some Spam, and showered the contents of the aforementioned milkshake onto Date Movie's scripts. This might explain why the weak acting and unintelligent, crude humor often leaves you with a desire to cry, and possibly to shove your own head into a blender, afterward.

There is little else to say about the quality of the movie. In fact, I've taken up a decent amount of space already with just jokes, and I've literally covered everything possible to cover. The production value is low, it isn't funny, and it, if you care anymore, is centered around parodies of Romantic Comedy hits.

Should your child be in middle school or early high school, I urge you not to allow them to see this movie. Now is the time where you must allow your child's mental capacity to grow, and this movie will undoubtedly drop his or her IQ by several dozen points.

Date Movie receives the very rare honor of 1/5 Stars.

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