by Kristen Alliegro

Created on: June 07, 2008   Last Updated: November 19, 2010

There is absolutely no doubt that gender differences do exist, both among children and adults. However, how much is truly influenced by society and how much can we delegate to being natural expressions of gender?

What many don't see are the subtle indicators that we give our little people as to how they behave or should behave, according to gender. This can be found on television, in advertising, in school and even at home despite one's best efforts to not genderize a particularly activity or behavior. Let us start with infancy. Most new parents will choose and avoid specific colors of clothing in order to "identify" the gender of their baby. This is an immediate cultural and social influence that reinforces genderization. Girls are dressed in brighter colors and often in cute little dresses, and sometimes slippers or sandals. Boys are frequently given the darker colors, adorable infant sized baseballs caps and mock-tennis shoes. Right away, we've socially defined gender and how to identify with such. This pattern will continue throughout childhood and seep into adulthood, with reinforcement fed along the way.

In toddlerhood, pay attention to what types of gifts a child receives according to gender. Frequently, girls are given dolls, princess dress up, "girlie clothes", tea sets, play kitchens, and an assortment of other "gender appropriate" playthings. What message does this give a young female? If you look deeply, the implications are to be pretty, part of which entails to play neatly, quietly and to stay clean, that motherly nurturing is a part of her role along with a variety of household responsibility. Boys, on the other hand are given cars, trucks, durable denim clothing for "rough play", and various other tactile games and toys which encourages those more external expressions of emotion.

Quietly, we subjugate our children to their role as male or female, encouraging certain behaviors while passively discouraging others. How often is a male child given a Barbie, complete with dress up clothes, shoes and brush? What message would it send to society to see a boy carrying around his favorite doll rather than a stuffed bear or truck? As for girls, the messages are the same, only with opposing items and play activity. This is just the beginning. Silent gender do's and don'ts pervade society. It has been found that girls are more likely to get a higher level of praise for neatness than their math skills in school and boys are found to be given more attention

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