by Dr. G. A. Anderson

Created on: June 07, 2008   Last Updated: September 18, 2010

It is disturbing to realize that in our modern society, many people are betting the farm on long-distance relationships. Most of these love matches are formed via the Internet and the many dating or match-up services available these days. Depending upon your preference for distance, people from as far away as possible can be matched to your profile. But if you specify no more than 50 miles from your home, for example, matches can be found within a reasonable visiting or dating distance.

However, at the price of gas in 2010 and no sign of prices coming down to what we used to consider "cheap," many of these more distant love relationships will fail because the distance is too far to make traveling frequently possible. An initial meeting may spark a flame, but the flame will fade and die due to lack of proximity.

Proximity, in sociological terms, means the nearness and availability of someone. Proximity is the most basic reason for relationships to begin and continue to flourish. Looking at the evolution of society, this has been historically so. Before the days of the automobile and other advanced modes of transportation, proximity was a necessity for successful relationships. A long-distance relationship that worked was the exception. People depended on relationships with others who could share their lives on a frequent basis, and with whom they could enjoy social interactions in person.

Also, the idea that you "may" see someone going from class to class or driving up to the restaurant you frequent is enough to keep the attraction alive. If your chances of crossing paths are good, perhaps a relationship can be developed. When people see one another on a regular basis in a classroom setting, for example, or anywhere both may be at the same time, the odds of striking up a friendship that could lead to a relationship outweigh the probability that a long-distance relationship in which people only see one another occasionally will actually work.

Promises may be made, declarations of love may be exchanged, intimate personal information shared, and a relationship far away may burn brightly for a while. But unless one or the other partner is willing to relocate, the long-distance relationship is destined to fail. After all, even after an "e-examination" of likenesses, differences, compatibility, values, and goals has been done, there is no guarantee either of the people has been entirely truthful. On the Internet, people can embellish their profiles or provide misleading

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