by Dawn Dibartolo

Created on: June 07, 2008

When you first walk into the therapist's office, some cold, unfamiliar couch already stained with the tears of someone else's pain beckoning you, and you see this young man or woman, perhaps younger than you, poised to tell you everything you're doing wrong in your life, most individuals will instantaneously erect walls. These walls are geared toward the preservation of self, previously useful against those that perhaps tried to hurt you. The trick to getting out of that habit of shielding yourself and opening up to heal your wounds is to view this person, no matter how old they may be, as a band-aid. This person cannot cure you. This person cannot magically produce all the right answers for you. Nor can they whisk your problems away. A therapist is a person academically trained to help you work through your issues via a systematic method of questions and self-explorations. The only way a therapist can be helpful is if you are open to the process of healing.

Some things you should know about your therapist and your therapy session:

As little as they know about you initially, you know just as little about them. Do not assume that they have not experienced some of the things you are currently going through. Everyone has pain in life; it takes a special person to use that pain to heal others.

Be honest. Go in to each session with an open mind and an open heart. This is not to say that you should enter the room and vomit your woes onto the carpet. To do so is a waste of time. Instead, pick specifically what you would like assistance with, stating the problem clearly and wholly. Then, just as openly, listen to the advice given. A good therapist will have listened to you, asked pertinent questions, and will gear her response toward what she thinks will help you the most, her ultimate goal being to bring about your healing.

Remain focused on the problem at hand. To flit from issue to issue only scratches at the surface of the pain. What you want to do is open up the wound, fill it with healing, and eventually get it to close. Dig deep into the source of your pain in order to better eradicate it.

Although it may seem "Hollywood" and "textbook," seriously consider and diligently respond to the questions the therapist may ask you about your past, no matter how irritating these questions may be. A huge chunk of who we are today has to do with who we were yesterday. What you think may have scarred you, probably did; also consider those things you thought were simply "how things

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