The time to make a plan for dealing with domestic violence is long before it happens. And, one key to this plan is to agree to never, ever call the police.

The days of Andy Griffith are long gone. No longer do we have peace officers in our neighborhoods available to help us work things out. Today, whenever the police are involved, we are dealing with law-enforcement officers. The primary goal of today's police, and our justice system, is to find someone guilty of breaking a law and to punish them, preferably with prison whenever possible.

This is especially true in domestic disputes. Many jurisdictions today have a policy that whenever a police officer is called for a domestic dispute someone will have to be arrested. Usually the arrested person will be the male partner in such a dispute, regardless of what has transpired.

Even absent such a policy there are numerous instances where the intervention of law enforcement escalates a situation to the point of an arrest. Police officers are usually trained to deal with violence and take action first and foremost to protect themselves from what they consider to be a dangerous situation. And, it is commonly claimed that domestic disputes are some of the most dangerous situations they will face. Police will arrive prepared to deal with violence, which will only increase the tensions of the situation.

Once someone is arrested in a domestic dispute it will be virtually impossible to escape the situation. The partner that is considered abused will be treated as if they are unable to make decisions for themselves in such a matter. Even if they wish to withdraw charges the courts and government attorneys will pursue the case. They will push for a guilty plea and, if the accused is unwilling to plea bargain, they will use all of the tools at their disposal to convict them. Even following an acquittal it is not unusual for local family services to remain involved, disrupting your family and almost certainly resulting in the destruction of your relationship.

If children are involved things only get worse. Invariably your local child protective organization will get involved. While claiming to work to protect the children, these agencies will often remove children from families and place them into a foster system that has a greater level of abusive situations than the rest of society. Even if your children do remain in your home t is unlikely that your family will ever return to any sort of

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