by Alexander Lourenco

Created on: June 06, 2008   Last Updated: June 11, 2008

Sometimes the first step in moving forward is a step back. A step back from what you do, where you are, who you love; a step back from everything you have so far taken for granted. Whether you're a high-powered Wall Street businessperson or their spouse, chances are you're too far gone inside your world to realize and re-evaluate what's going on inside it.

So step back.

Take a look at who you are and who you want to be. Maybe frustration spurred you into soul-searching; maybe it was something else. Whatever it was, something inside you knows that you have to revise and rethink; something knows that the status quo has too long been left undisturbed.

Now it's easy to tell people how to evaluate their life and where it's going; in fact the TV tells you all the time. You have self-help gurus left and right spouting off their ten-step plans. Each one sells their method as a method of success, and each one can only be half-right because every person is unique and has to come to terms with where they are.

So step back; question everything you've done so far. Are you happy with who you are? With your job, your relationships, your commitments- are you satisfied and contented with everything you've come to have?

Your mind will try to say something; ignore it. Rationalization comes later, and it's a good thing, but for now we're interested in your innate, inner gut reaction. Try to listen to that inner kid inside who knows whether or not you've sold out. You remember them? The one that wanted to be a superhero, or an archaeologist, or a rock star? More often than not they've got something to say, and if they're unhappy with where you are then maybe you should think about it.

Do that for awhile. No need to rush; take a few weeks. Let your inner child tell you all about what's right and what's wrong with your life as it stands. They'll have good insights, I guarantee it, though you may not like the answer.

That's the hard part. The harder part is analyzing what they said and figuring out how to step forward. Is your job unfilfilling? Your marriage? What parts about your life set that kid screaming hoarse inside?

Don't be surprised if they're happy where you are. Sometimes things are right; pat yourself on the back for a job well done. But if things are wrong- if certain things just set your sensors off- it's time to take a look at them. With your newfound knowledge of where and what you are comes a responsibility to fix your world; you might be scared to change, but now you can't afford not to. Ignorance is bliss but knowledge leads to nirvana.

I can't tell you how to fix your life; no one can, and anyone who tries is selling something. What I have tried to do, however, is give you the courage to re-evaluate and step forward. Don't be afraid to listen to that kid; save your job, your marriage, your life. Confront issues and don't be afraid to change and replace what makes you unhappy or unfulfilled. Make sure you have purpose and don't be afraid to dream for something more; for only once you strive for what you wish for can you truly begin to move forward.

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