He slammed my head against the cold unyielding glass of the car door with a sharp knock of his palm. Pain seared through my head in vibrations and blood pumped through my hot ears as fear for my life mounted. I could not quite believe that I was here; bundled into a car with a vicious brute I had called my boyfriend for the past few months. How could I let myself sink this low?
Bill's driving was terrifyingly erratic, reflective of his temper as he swung off the main road and hurtled along a narrow country lane. It was gone nine at night and darkness engulfed any view I might have of our whereabouts.
"Please, Bill, please slow down. Let's go home and talk. I love you!" Sheer desperation made me throw out that last sentence, for nothing could be further from the truth. I hated him. Hated the way he looked now too, his face contorted with blind rage, eyes mesmerized by each twist and turn of the road, almost spitting out his breath through clenched teeth. Those ugly crooked teeth.
"You Bitch! I'm going to kill you- I swear!" He screamed turning his head momentarily so his words thundered directly into my ear. Bill's hand flew at my head once again as it crashed into the door. I've got to get out of this car, I've got to get out! My mind was whirring and my whole body ached with gripping terror like I had never felt before. I wanted to open the door and fling myself onto the mercy of the road.
I had recently learnt that this thug had, indeed, killed people for large sums of money in the past. He had admitted as much to me but I didn't really believe him. He was notorious yet his reputation had never reached me in the sleepy village I had grown up in. Agony from loosing a previous love had left my defenses low and Bill flattered me with early declarations of love and adoration. Before I knew it I allowed myself to submerge into his clutches. The violence had started almost immediately after moving in with him and his family. It was over nothing half the time. Tonight was undoubtedly the worst though; for I had wronged him by mindlessly scribbling down another guy's number during a recent trip to a nightclub. He had made me lure this poor innocent man into a meeting and then beaten him to a pulp as I stood by, sickened to my very core that anyone could inflict so many pain on to another. I didn't know if we left him dead or alive as Bill then proceeded to throw me into the car for this wild ride. Now it was my turn.
Bill was eerily calm now as he spoke to me. With cold calculation he explained what he would do to me when we got to our destination. He had a gun in the boot. He would kill me and bury me. The spot we were heading for was an old burial site of his; dotted with the bodies of those he had murdered in the past. I believed him now.
Minutes later the car stopped after a bumpy ride up a derelict track. He roared at me to get out and I did; choking from sobbing with such severity, undiluted fear strickening my body. Instinctively I curled up in a ball on the dusty track and was suddenly pierced with ferociously-fuelled kicks; agonizing for my slight frame to bear. My mind escaped to thoughts of my beloved family- what would this do to them? I could not die!
It is not easy to recall, five years on from this event, what I said to him. But I do remember having the sense to recognize his deep belief that he loved me so much was what led him to such a passionate episode. He was a dangerous man to wrong; and lethal if one wronged him in matters of the heart. I begged him for my life and promised him a lifetime of happiness and fidelity together. We would have children, we would get married; I would be his devoted wife if he would only just let me.
To this day I thank God that these desperate supplications worked. My second chance at life started after that night. I appreciated delicious life thereafter with a fervor not experienced since the magic of early childhood. Eventually I managed to free myself from his tight clutches; for my prayers were answered and his love for me waned. He tossed me aside with as much regret and contemplation as an empty soda can.
But thank you, Bill. Because you changed me and my life and every day I relish the genuine love and kindness of my husband. I shall never take that good man for granted.