by Dina Mcnulty

Created on: June 05, 2008

Today is my 50th birthday. I don't have time to worry about my age. I will only celebrate the fact that I have made it this far. Part of this celebration includes a few written reflections about being fifty with teenagers at home. Maybe some of you can relate.

First, I want to say that I feel no shock at the coming of this age. I am the type of person who has the philosophy that you go out and hunt down the lion before the lion has a chance to sneak up on you unexpectedly. You could say that for the past two or three years I have lived with the reality of fifty. Now that the day has actually arrived, I feel no sudden despair. On the other hand, since I spent the last two years facing fifty, I didn't truly enjoy NOT being fifty. Therefore, I have learned the same lesson over again. If you worry about the future, you can't enjoy the now. On this day of my fiftieth birthday, I make the same vow I have made before and that is not to worry about the future or dwell on the past, and enjoy each day as it comes.

Since I have a few years of experience facing 50, however, I can tell you exactly what it feels like to be 50 with two teenage daughters at home. I am convinced that if I did not have teenagers I would not be suffering from some of the midlife crisis issues I am experiencing right now. My teenagers keep reminding me of how young I am NOT simply by their playing out a youthful life that involves things I can no longer enjoy. For example, going to Six Flags amusement park with their friends is so exciting for them. I remember when the thrill of a ride's twists, turns, and speed was the greatest sensation of all. Now I think of the up and down motion that gives me the sensation I need to throw up or die, one of the two. I don't look forward to clothes and makeup like daughters do because no matter how much I try to look good, I will still look like I am fifty. Exercising will help me get in shape to an extent, but I will never have the waist I used to have. Also, I long for the same kind of fun my kids enjoy with Myspace and texting.. They can keep in constant touch on the phone and the computer, and their social life is deeply enriched because of it. If I started texting people and myspacing people non-stop for the fun of it they would think I was nuts! Besides, whenever I try to text someone and my kids are around, they laugh at how slow and awkward I am at a skill they have mastered. I have pretty much given up on both of these ideas, but that doesn't stop me

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