by Bernadette Adkins

Created on: June 05, 2008

This topic happens to be a very passionate topic for me. I grew up playing recreational league sports. Whether it was softball, basketball or cheer-leading there was always competition with a clear winner and loser. Parents and/or experts today seem to feel if a child competes in a sport and they don't win they will somehow become damaged emotionally. What is damaging to a child's self esteem when they learn to accept defeat as graciously as they accept victory? What is harmful about a child learning to be a good winner and a good loser? How will our children ever learn to function in the adult world if they do not learn how to accept the situation before them? Life is about winning and losing. Life is about competition. In the wild survival of the fittest is very real. It is just as real in the business world. Someone is always number one and someone is always number two-three-ten-one hundred. Competition doesn't have to be a negative situation. In our home we teach our children the only way to lose is to quit or not compete. If you choose to compete and follow it thru to the end - no matter the results - YOU are a Winner! Even if you don't come in first place, there is experience that cannot be taken from you. That experience will help them work thru the next competition and life in general. Our children will never be able to think for themselves, learn how to problem solve, learn how to exercise judgment, feel a sense of pride in themselves and their work if they are protected from "losing". Healthy competition helps our children build a sense of good self-esteem. By eliminating competition we are in danger of creating a generation of children who have a sense of entitlement to stature they have not earned and become angry and depressed when they don't get what they "want" without working for it. When my daughter was a small child she played soccer for a community league. I was appalled to learn the league didn't keep score. I was even more appalled to learn the coaches "secretly" kept score but didn't tell the children. The same adults who choose to have a league free of scores, winners and losers were keeping "score". One of the most important lessons I learned as a child playing softball was to stand in line and look the competitor in the face, shake their hand and say "good game". It builds character and teaches us to be a good winner and loser. Learning not to pout when you lose and learning not to gloat when you win is a lesson that every person should learn. Nothing is worse than a poor sport - winner or loser! How will our children learn how to handle not being chosen for a team or not being offered a job if we don't provide them the opportunity to compete in life? We cannot protect our children from growing up and we cannot keep them in a protected bubble once they do. In order to develop the life skills necessary for survival our children should not only be allowed to compete, they should be encouraged to compete.

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