by Cieara Wilson

Created on: June 04, 2008

There are many reasons why people can not find their "soul mate" or real love. Some reasons, I would say are out of one's control, others are self inflicted. I thought long and hard about several reasons people sabotage their own chances of real love. Here they are in no particular order.<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /

> 1. One can not define what "love" is in the first place. Even with the hundreds of thousands of people who say they are in love, I still believe love is rare to find. I'm not sure what these people are in, but by the looks of it, it is not love. That can explain why divorce rates are so high. Love, well real love, is not looking to please itself first, but rather the other person. It is patient, it is long suffering, it is supportive. If you can not understand what love is founded on, you will never find "real love." 2. Relationships take work; if you think this is about you getting what you want all the time; you've already failed. Relationships are not always glitz and glam. While overall you should be happy with your relationship. Sometimes if things are really going t to work in the long run, you will find yourself doing things you necessarily do not want to do such as compromising. And despite popular belief, compromising does not mean you are weak, rather it proves how strong you really are. If you are not willing to work through the good as well as not so good you will not succeed. 3. You do not know who you are. People underestimate and discount self love, and I'm not sure why, it will really make a difference in every area of your life. Before a person can find love, they must first love themselves. And I know, that is a clich but it is so true. Self love is the tool that will allow you to weave out the people who mean you know good. There is a difference between being putting up with someone who truly cares for you and is trying to do right and being disrespected. Only self love will show you that difference because you will want what is best for you and not just companionship. When you know and love who you are, life is not a mystery to you. And it will take more than somebody whispering sweet nothings to catch your attention. 4. You're not perfect, so why do you expect the other person to be? (False Expectations) Again I repeat, "You're not perfect, so why do you expect the other person to be?" The media, through movies and television for the most part has painted this false image of "love" in the minds of viewers. A girl who barely understands who she is, finds a guy who is perfect in everyway, and is everything she is not, they're totally in love, they never clash and happily ever after. While that is a good plot to a movie, I'm not totally convinced it always works like that in real life. Thinking someone else to be fulfill parts are you that should already be fulfilled it unfair and can add unnecessary stress to the relationship. Love is beautiful, even with the hard work and dealing with an imperfect person. The giving of oneself to another is amazing. Many people miss love, because they think it is one thing and it is something entirely different nevertheless love is waiting for whoever wants it, those who find it are truly blessed.

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