by Lori Salsgiver

Created on: June 04, 2008   Last Updated: June 05, 2008

Do you remember the old cartoon where the girl skeleton is sitting on the bench waiting for Mr. Right? Being the perfect wife is like finding Mr. Right. I believe that being a perfect wife is unrealistic but being a good wife is realistic. When it comes to marriage, we all make mistakes and fall short of each others expectations. When we enter into a marriage a lot of women have this unrealistic view that they can change their husbands. But in the end, the only person you can change is yourself. <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /

> Wives should never enter into a marriage with the expectation that we will get everything we want and that we can change our husbands. Wives should be givers. We should give of ourselves, time and energy to our husbands and family. We cannot expect our husbands to do every single chore we ask or complete every item on the to-do list. We need to be understanding and appreciative of his time and devotion to his family. Working on tasks together and completing chores together builds a closeness and respect for each other. Nagging our spouses will guarantee spitefulness and he will be less willing to lend a hand in the future. Being a good wife also requires us to be good listeners. We need to be in tune to our husband's emotional and physical needs. Men do not express emotions and feelings like women. Sometimes they are hard to read, therefore we need to know our husbands well enough to know when he is having a bad day. Some men do not like to talk about their feelings but just letting him know that you are there can make all the difference in the world. Men are very physical in nature where women are more emotionally connected in relationships. Men enjoy the physical aspect of the relationship. Wives don't have to give into his every sexual fantasy but being physically close lets him know that you respect his desire for touch and intimacy. Being a good wife does not mean that you have to be a carpet for your husband. In a relationship we have to give and take. You meet his needs and he meets your needs. If you constantly give to your husband and he doesn't honor you in the same regard, don't hesitate to discuss this with him. Early I mentioned that we should be givers but if you give 100% all the time and he only gives 25%, then your marriage will become rocky and unbalanced. Being a good wife does not mean we have to put up with abuse and neglect in the area of your marriage. Please understand that every marriage will have its good and bad times, but being a constant giver can be emotionally draining over time for women too. Don't beat yourself up if you're not the perfect wife. It is unrealistic to set that type of expectation of yourself because we are all human and make mistakes. If you love, respect and support your husband; you will be ahead of the game. Remember that a marriage is a partnership not a dictatorship. Give your husband what he needs and your marriage will flourish. Don't forget to communicate because that is the most important aspect of a marriage. Give of yourself with love and never expect anything in return.

Learn more about this author, Lori Salsgiver.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.