by Emma Riley Sutton

Created on: June 04, 2008   Last Updated: June 25, 2008

Tabasco sauce in my water. Giant pickles in hot bog buns smothered in onions, mustard and Tabasco sauce. Oranges with Tabasco sauce. Sunflower seeds in cottage cheese with Tabasco sauce. Mint chocolate chip ice cream with Tabasco sauce. Liver and onions with Tabasco sauce. Banana but bread with Tabasco sauce. And, Taco Bell. Thank God for Taco Bell! These were the only things I could eat the first four months of my pregnancy. My baby and I would have gone without meat if not for Taco Bell.

Why did I crave those things? My husband knew it was because the baby "needed" them. I didn't try to change his mind. Whatever he wanted to believe that would get him out of bed at three in the morning to get me a glass of water with Tabasco sauce in it or off to Taco Bell for burrito supremes was just fine with me. It took only one crying jag from me to convince him the baby would die from lack of Tabasco sauce and Taco Bell. Not that I told him that. He reasoned the only way I could throw such a fit was if I thought our baby was in serious peril without Tabasco and Taco Bell.

Actually there might be some truth in his thought process. I lost eighteen pounds during my first trimester. I would hate to imagine that number if I had not been able to have the nasty foods I craved. I spent most of my time on the tile floor in the bathroom, praying for more Tabasco sauce and morning sickness instead of the "all day/all night sickness" I had. I tried eating crackers, everyone said it would help, but it made matters worse. My husband, the saint, left glasses of water with Tabasco sauce in every room for me. If I started to feel sick, they were always available. They helped quite a bit. If nothing else, they bought me enough time to make it to the bathroom.

Three days before our daughter (yes, a baby girl - not a bottle of Tabasco sauce) was born, I was forty pounds heavier than on my first pre-natal doctors visit. Counting the 18 I had lost, I had gained 58 pounds. This was because, after the first four months, I could eat anything I wanted. I still had the same cravings, but I could and did eat other things as well.

I did develop new cravings once the all day/all night sickness ended. I could not get enough blueberries. The grocery store would call if they were down to the last of the blueberries to see if I wanted them to hold them for me. I had a "blueberry meltdown" in the produce section of the store once when they ran out of "my food." Once I calmed down and wiped away all my tears, the manager took my name and number. I suppose he didn't want another scene like the one that just took place.

I apologized. There was no excuse for such behavior, especially in public. I'm not sure, but I think I threw some oranges. Hormones, crazy cravings and the fear there was something wrong my Tabasco sauce baby were still no reasons to act like that. The manager insisted he understood, but I still felt badly. I had made up my mind never to go back there again, but he called a few days later - they had blueberries again and they were saving me three containers.

I don't know why I wanted the foods I wanted. I just know I had to have them. Maybe my body was lacking some nutrient found in Tabasco sauce, but I don't know what that could be. I read the label and there isn't really anything important in it. Maybe the cayenne pepper helped keep my energy up (I do have fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome) or maybe my changing hormones made it taste good. I don't know why. I don't particularly care, either. I gave birth to a healthy baby girl who now has a fondness for everything spicy. That was all I cared about. That is still all I care about - a healthy little girl.

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