by Samantha Brown

Created on: June 04, 2008   Last Updated: October 31, 2008

Wanting the love of your parents,is an addition all of it's own. Every human being craves acceptance in some form or another. Especially from the one's who gave us life on this earth. As children we wonder what's wrong with us. Actually there is nothing wrong, we just don't know it yet. In our childhood, you don't understand. But you see others have what you crave for and don't get. I remember my childhood all to well, it wasn't the best. It was filled with a lot of dysfunctional elements. I too was degraded to the lowest terms, by a mother with a disgust for her own life.

Did she understand what she was doing to her children? Absolutely no she didn't. She created a situation of self destruction for herself as well as her children.She didn't understand what love was or it conditions associated with it. In my mother's life of growing up,that was a no!no!. My grandmother was a bitter person for what ever reason. I see that now as I have grown to become and adult. My mother was a teenage mother, she had my sister at 16 years old. In those times a young lady becomes pregnant and unwed was an outcast to the society. I imagine the feeling of isolation in those times.

My grandmother never in all my years of knowing her,didn't give positive feed back on any situation. She was this church going sister, who was always right about your decisions in your life. You never measured up to her standards,her take on the whole thing was how society saw you as a whole. As an adult, my grandmother gave respect to you only if she deemed it necessary on her part. I watch her belittled my mother, to the lowest terms she could. She didn't just do it with my mother, all of her children.
My aunt was the oldest of the six, she had been raised by another family member. I recall her stories of her visits to my grandmother house, they weren't all pleasant.

She stated how differently she was treated as a kid, because my mother's father wasn't hers. "Oh by the way", my grandmother wasn't married to my aunt's father. But she did have a wonderful and loving involvement with her father and his family. She says that what made the difference in her life. My grandmother kept a wedge between her children, basically who was better than the other. I noticed that as I got older. She defined her children, by who held what type of job and how much money they made. For a long time, I didn't know who my aunt was,I've known little of her as a child because of the distance she had put between her mother and herself.

As

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