by Adrian Maudling

Created on: June 03, 2008   Last Updated: December 04, 2009

No I don't think it would have mattered what you called the film it would still have been failed.

Not necessarily because it was a remake of a brilliant "monster" movie but because there were a large number of flaws to the story.

Right from the beginning why was it migrating to America, I know a lot of animals return to breeding grounds but these are places where they were born. Unless the lizard was bought in America and was later dumped when it got to big (about 6ft and local dogs and cats kept going missing) on the pacific island it started off from, there is no reason for it to end up in America unless it was just sightseeing

Then you have the asexual thing. Now admittedly I don't quite know how the genetics would react to the radiation but it was not the only lizard on that island so either there were no other different sex lizards available or didn't he find them attractive enough to mate with, or perhaps they all were pregnant and devised a plan to all head off in different directions to take over the world, but after the others saw the film they were to embarrassed to carry out the plan in case a film was made of them.

Once it gets to America things just go downhill from there.

They start to open manhole covers to let the smell of the fish down, this might work slightly but there was steam rising from those same vents indicating an upward movement not down but with a nose like he had a little might just work.

Once he has grabbed the bait and made off he then pursues a helicopter which flies as fast as it can to escape only to be munched on later ( there's never a tin opener around when you need one) it's a shame those highly trained pilots forgot a helicopter can go up as well as forward.

I'm sure at times there was some size changing involved, at times he towers over every thing then he fits into a building or tunnel, it must have been part of the mutation thing.

And also there must have been some time manipulation as he manages to get to America find a place to lay the eggs and they start to hatch all within a space of a couple of days.

I've got to admit at times I was more on the monsters side than the humans as they lizards showed more intelligence and it caused less damage than the army.

The effects are good and the monster wasn't phony but it still just doesn't work and whether it was called Godzilla or Lassie or Giant mutant lizard it still wouldn't work or be a huge success.

I say let the monsters stay and kick out the military and the politicians at least then you will have the lesser of two evils.

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