by Meghann

Created on: June 03, 2008   Last Updated: October 31, 2008

The problem with men down here is their constant underestimation of a woman's strength. Not to mention the fact that it is becoming genetic.

OK, by "Down here" I meant the lower 48 or perhaps just the south because that's where I live. See, I grew up in Alaska for the first part of my life and witnessed the mixture of adoration, love, respect, and teamwork that made up the marriages in my direct line of vision. If you live in AK then more than likely you are there because of a job. It's usually just you and your immediate family. Extended family is in the main part of the country mixed up in all the stupid drama and false idealizations of what marriage is.

Many women down here voluntarily take a backseat to their husbands and their husbands make sure their wives know their place. Husbands, not all, but most, speak to the wives any way they want, they do what they want, go where they want, spend what they want; see who they want, etc. They feel as though they owe no explanation of their actions to the little wife. However, if the wife wants any kind of social life she is swiftly put back in her place and too often then not she ends up knocked up again.
Children are not cherished by these selfish men either. Children are merely belongings, objects, or assets. Men do not pick sick kids up from school, men do not get up in the middle of the night with crying children, men do not attend all school functions, men do not do ANYTHING but go to work and carry on with their own lives. It's pathetic! But like I said, it's genetic. These men were brought up by fathers who were the same way. These WOMEN were raised by mothers who were treated the same way so they honestly have no idea they are being taken advantage of!
Look, I am a Christian and I am very proud of that. I do know the bible says that the wife shall be in submission to her husband BUT IT DOES NOT SAY THAT THE WIVES ARE TO BE AS SLAVES TO THEM!
The whole family dynamic is completely different in Alaska. We were brought up with the understanding that we are every bit as strong and intelligent as men and to have integrity, values, morals, and the ability to stand up for what you want. The ratio of men to women is something like 10:1. CRAZY that we would still have the values we do with numbers like that. Down here, try finding a young woman in her twenties who is a college graduate with no kids and doesn't live with her mother (or grandmother). I've been here for 14 years and I know two! That's it!
If I had been obedient like my ex husband was expecting then I would still be married, but darn it, I had too much self esteem. Yes, he tried to break my spirit on a daily basis. Yes, he kept wanting babies because he wanted to keep tabs on me. Yes, he thought the harder he worked at being a jerk the sooner I would cowboy up and get with the program. What he WASN'T counting on was the fact that I have completely supportive parents, a family at church, and a constant source of strength in my faith, and the knowledge to get HIS money for HIS kids that he wanted so much. The secret to a happy marriage down here in the south isn't respect or communication or even love. It's submission. And blind submission at that.

I feel I am better off staying single because I am unwilling to compromise my spirit for less than what I'm worth. I'm either going to stay single here or I'm moving back to Alaska!

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