by Richard Hefty

Created on: June 02, 2008   Last Updated: June 03, 2008

Gentlemen, let me ask you a question. Are you ever the recipient of a guilt trip due to your love of sports? Whether you are a participant or spectator, the question is usually the same..."How can you watch/play sports all year long?! Don't the seasons ever end?!" This is asked as if to insinuate that the constant stream of sport is a bad thing.

Granted, if you are not a sports fan then you probably don't see the genius involved in staggering the four major sport seasons: baseball, football, basketball, and hockey....well, make that the THREE major sport seasons, and then weaving those events together with other "minor" sports-golf, NASCAR, Xtreme sports, and apparently poker (I can only guess that if it gets aired on ESPN2 it counts as a sporting event) to give the appearance of a seamless year of sport. Usually, this arrangement is maligned by the female species...as if we (sport loving men) are doing something wrong by giving in to the marketing wizardry of modern day athletics. First, we can't help it. That's not the shocking part. The second observation I've had is the part that chilled me to my core.

Fellas, the ladies have evened the score (yes, I know it's a sport analogy-like I said, we can't help it) and few, if any, of us realized it. While we have been made to feel guilty, our ladies have implemented their own "season"...and it's equally ingenious. What season? Good question.

It's the "Party Season". Any of this ring a bell? Tupperware? Avon? Mark Kay? Partylite? Pampered Chef? Creative Memories? Longaberger Baskets? That gasp you just heard was yourself. It's like finding out the identity of Kaiser Soze at the end of "The Usual Suspects".

We've been feeling unnecessary guilt-our "angels" have created their own season, and it comes with all of the same hallmarks. The planning (preseason) begins when those innocuous catalogs show up at your house. The scouting, the toying around with orders (lineups), the "do you like this" questions...all planning for game time.
The games themselves are the parties. Every player shows up and the competition for the best order begins. As the night winds down, everyone seems happy with their performance and one lucky winner is given the opportunity to be the hostess of the next party (home field advantage). Then before you know what's happening...there's ANOTHER party scheduled. When you're informed of this subsequent party, if you're foolish or inexperienced enough to ask "Didn't you just go to a party", you will be greeted

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