by Casalan

Created on: June 02, 2008

TOILET HUMOR

I have always found the bathroom and toilet to be the funniest place to mess around in.

When I was about 3 years old I used to drop my toys into the toilet, luckily my parents noticed them before they started doing their business.

I would also unroll the toilet paper and then roll it up again and place it back onto the hook looking ten times larger than it originally did.

As I grew older the tricks kept on coming, I just couldn't help myself. I guess I knew that whoever was on the toilet wasn't leaving in a hurry so I knew that I had time to mess around with them.

When my sister was on the toilet I would push her things under the door, there was one time where pulled down all of the posters off her wall and slid them under the door slowly one by one just to hear her get annoyed.

I would also knock at the toilet door but when the person asked who was there I would just keep quiet. Sometimes I would answer them by breaking wind.

I remember one time when my little brother was in the toilet I took all of his stuffed toys out of his bedroom and arranged them in front of the toilet door, there had to be at least 15 stuffed toys.

But the fun didn't stop at home.

Even in shopping center toilets I would sit in my cubicle and make loud pushing noises even when I wasn't really pushing, I just want to annoy people.

I also used to roll play, for example I entered a cubicle one day and noticed the next cubicle was occupied so as I entered my cubicle I pretended that I found a wallet, I went through it making up a fake name and an enormous amount of money.

There was this one time that I purposely stuck a long length of toilet paper to the bottom of my foot and walked out of a McDonald's toilet to give my friends a good laugh.

THE SCOUT HALL

But there have been times when the tables turned on me and I was at the receiving end of toilet pranks and mishaps.

In an attempt to get healthy a close friend and I decided to run for half and hour every morning at 5am. As we were returning to our houses on the first attempt I had to go really badly but I had no paper.
I decided to tell him and we stopped at a scout hall, I scurried into the scout toilet (which was outside the hall) and was about to do my business when I noticed no toilet paper.
I ran out frantically and started to search for something to clean myself with.
I found a newspaper in a nearby mailbox and ran back to the scout hall toilets.

I was taking my time and enjoying it when I heard the sound of footsteps enter the toilets. I tried to keep as quiet as I could but it kept coming out. I heard a small child tell another child "Hey, there is someone in the toilet."
I was found, so I quietly finished my business and wiped myself.
I was waiting for the children to leave but I heard at least 5 voices just outside my cubicle, I guessed they thought I was just another scout.
I decided that I had waited long enough and these little scouts were not leaving so I pushed opened the door and bolted out, I ran up the hill, over the small walking bridge and towards my house not looking back.

As I made it over the walking bridge my friend greeted me and told me that he was told to stop loitering around the scout hall so he decided to wait for me here.

LABORING

I worked as a laborer for a while with my cousin. I was pushing wheel barrows of concrete all day and I had to go to do number two.
So he directed me to a portable toilet, I stepped inside and he locked the door, I looked down to find a full bowl and no toilet paper.
After yelling at him for a while he let me out.

I don't play around in toilets anymore, not because I don't want to but I just don't have the time.

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