by Vicki Phipps

Created on: June 02, 2008

I had no clue, but it's true. Parenting begins when a child is conceived and it doesn't end until you die, believe me. Even beyond the grave, my grown kids will probably call me every day. When it comes to parenting, we don't get a break.

PARENTING FOR LIFE: FINDING PEACE OF MIND

I used to think that when my kids turned eighteen, I'd be free to do as I please with peace of mind all the time. Don't get me wrong, I adore my kids and no one loved parenting more than I did, but raising three teens can be exhausting.

Since then, I've come to believe that the reason God created teens and the insanity they bring to parenting might be due to our need to find the strength and the motivation to let them go when they're finally grown and ready to be on their own. Even so, I know that I will always be a parent and like me, your parenting will never end, and that's why I've made a list of parenting tips which I believe will make the transition into adulthood easier on you and your grown children too.

BEYOND THE EMPTY NEST:

1. Know when it's time to fly.

When my first born child left the nest, it was difficult for me and I cried like a baby. Then, when my second teen turned eighteen, I felt surprisingly serene, but by the time my youngest child packed her bags to leave my nest completely empty, I shouted with glee, "Hooray! I'm finally free!" You see, if they'd never been teens, I'd probably still be grieving, but the experience of raising three teens gave me the strength to say, "It's time to fly away."

It's wise to know that although you'll always be a parent, the time will come when you need to let go of your role. Roles are derived from the ego and eventually they need to be changed and rearranged. When our children are grown, our parenting role can't remain the same.

2. Don't even try to be a friends with your grown kids.

It's not that I don't like my kids, but why would I pick them to be my friends? Friends are made in ways that have nothing to do with DNA. If you try to be your kids friend, it will come back to haunt you again and again. You'll find the parental ghost coming out of you all the time, so be wise. Discuss your marital issues and sex life with your friends, but don't ever discuss such stuff with someone to whom you've given birth. It just too much and it doesn't work.

You and your children already have enough friends. You can be an advisor, a maid, a nanny, a banker or even a saint, but don't even think of being your grown kids friend. You will always be just

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