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I am writing again today with the intention of continuing the healing process that started a month ago. That was when I first wrote to you with a reflection that touched on the sensitive topic of euthanasia.

I wrote tentatively then, giving only the merest glimpse of the events that had so disturbed me, trying to avoid providing details that might distress others. I wondered if my article would be published at all, or whether I would receive a terse note advising me that the concept and content were not suitable for general publication.

As I wrote, there was real anguish for me in describing certain moments, but I felt compelled to complete the task I had started. The words pelted out almost compulsively, as if trying to assist my release. I hoped to portray the extremes of anger and pain that had accumulated over the years of forced silence.

My writing was published. There were no comments from readers, either adverse or otherwise, but on looking through the article myself today, I know that it is time to soften the harsh words that I used then and remove the angry accusations. I sense that my rage might have been offensive to some and that my mode of expression might have alarmed others; what I had hoped for was, simply, to have my viewpoint understood.

I know that I will never forget what happened to my brother or the manner in which it took place. Nor will I forgive the fact that the suffering of a loved-one was so extreme, yet no medical assistance or palliative care could provide adequate relief or any tolerable solution.

I am able to convince myself that his passing was a justified release and that it was, without a shadow of doubt, what he wanted. The fact that the act was unlawful does not shame me. The reality that I could be criticised or punished for my involvement does not concern me. But I am disturbed by the certain knowledge that there is another individual somewhere today, who is so devoted to a person in agony that they will reach the same conclusion that they have no alternative other than to follow the victim's request. This, then, becomes euthanasia, an unlawful action.

I have revised my writing on this topic and I am about to resubmit my preferred version. The loss of my brother is painful still, but the ache is much less than when I first wrote to you a month ago, although all the facts remain the same. Since that first contact, I have gone on to write other articles - some happy, some humorous, some satiric, some successful.

Yes, we can be healed through writing. I have been fortunate to experience this firsthand through my association with Helium.

Learn more about this author, Victoria Moss.
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