by Anna Johnson

Created on: June 02, 2008   Last Updated: October 31, 2008

When we were children, we held each other during all the bad times. Talking in the late hours about nothing important but just having that bond. My brother fell in love and I was there when he had his first break up. It broke his heart and like a lioness, I was there to collect all of his things from his first love.

My brother and I were like twins only two years apart in age but we were always together. When he went off to college, he always would call and come home to check on me. When he was out one night and he drove drunk and nearly killed himself and my other brother I was there for him. I knew the heartache he must have felt by making a decision that could have killed everyone involved.

When he got into a little trouble shortly after the accident I was there to stand by him and never judge. He was my brother my champion my hero in every way I adored him.
My confidant in everything I ever did I could tell him all the details and he would not get all big brother on me. It was a wonderful bond that I thought could never ever be broken.
I wonder where all those wonderful moments and our secret way of communicating with each other went. He did things to hurt me I did things to hurt him through out the years. Still I always believed at the end of the day he would always be my best friend no matter what was said and done. This bond surely could never be broken when it use to be me and him on our island all alone.

How do you go back to a wonderful time such as that and build what we had you cannot.
I look at him now I see another person not the one I knew so well. I am sure he sees the same thing in me a stranger now not his other half his twin. We were the Bonnie and Clyde together forever and always. Look at us now I bet even if I said a million times to him I apologize for any hurt I caused you. Our secret language and all the secrets we shared would never come back.

As long as I live, I will remember what we had because that was a passage in time where everything was right in my world. In spite of the ocean that sits between us, I love my brother and one day I hope that he will love me back. Family was always important to us because there are only three of us. Somehow, we got on this road of losing site of what was important by having family and lives of our own. We have become disconnected I know this saddens my mother. She is disconnected from both my brothers but she has me and we talk everyday. If I had one wish, it would be that we would all be a real family again and allow nothing to come between us.

Sit down quietly and have a nice family dinner just me mom and my brothers. Somehow I know that time has passed in our lives and what I have now I guess I just have to be thankful for it. Nothing can change what I miss from yesterday but I am learning to move forward in my own life. But to my brother who was my twin I am still here and I will always be just waiting on you.

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