by Jonathan Anctil

Created on: June 01, 2008

Remember, there is no 'i' in team, but there's two in 'idiot!' Timing is everything, and a good joke is priceless, especially dumb blond ones. For example, how do you drown a blond? The answer? Place a scratch-and-sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

If you are in High School, these rules bellow will apply to you, but some of them still apply to the Elementary grades. If you read and follow these rules to the letter, you will have no worries. Hakuna Matata!

Unwritten Laws of High School

1. There is no such thing as a girlfriend in high school. But there is such a thing as a hole in your pocket.
2. No matter how hard you try, there will usually be someone else better than you in at least one thing.
3. If you don't work hard in school you don't deserve to be there. Go to a homeless shelter if you want to be a freeloader.
4. The dog ate my homework' is as old an excuse as it is lame. Try and come up with something else for a change.
5. If you don't do well in English you won't do well period!
6. It is better to be a freak and unusual with an A average than a superstar who considers it a miracle to get so much as a D.
7. The worst teacher does not always mean the worst course.
8. Get on a teacher's good side; maybe then the puppy-faced pleading trick will work.
9. Touching another person's stuff is as wise as dating a 90-year old virgin.
10. The smartest person in history is no always the wisest.
11. Ditching a friend for a girlfriend is like choosing a fly-they are always buzzing by your ear.
12. While in some cases true, the dumb blond rule does not generally apply. Keep searching though!
13. It is written in the Code of Canada that all Voted Most Likely selections must be politically correct.
14. Never be as totally random as this quote!
15. Don't spit in a water fountain; there's already enough fluid there.
16. Plan your escape route before you tell a joke, especially a teacher joke or one that your friend will find particularly offensive.
17. Don't get in a romance; you'll be able to laugh so hard when your friend dates a girl half his size or with double his reasoning power.
18. Giving a teacher a rose on Valentine's Day, while as questionable as the act itself is, is the gift of a failing student.
19. If a fellow student starts a story off with The other day at Tim Horton's,' get comfortable. You'll be there a long time if you're too polite to tell him to shut up.
20. Don't die your hair. It looks ugly enough as it is.
21. If you're a guy who feels like you may one day want

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