Life as a mature, independent, well-adjusted single woman in a country that worships youth is a statement in itself. Ladies, we have experienced life's trials and tribulations and have emerged healthier on the other side. Faking it' is no longer part of our modus operandi. Our personal lexicon includes affirmations and positive declarations. We say what you mean and mean what we say. We enjoy our own company ... and, regularly prefer it. Date Night often means an evening entertaining ourselves; holidays and long weekends do not fill us with dread, and our home is our sanctuary. We on occasion take advantage of vacations as an opportunity to catch up on sleep, work on personal projects, read trashy novels, shop on-line, and spend time with whom we choose.

In spite of how we view ourselves, there are those who take pleasure in projecting their stuff' on us. Many of my single friends of a certain age quip that on occasion people describe them with unflattering vocabulary such as spinster, old maid, single and bitter, or man-hater. As you probably can imagine, these mean-spirited individuals - always with a sarcastic smile - are quick to claim they were only kidding. However, we are all too familiar with the idiom, "There is truth in sarcasm." Intellectually, my friends recognize that such character assassinations tell more about the character of those who cast the aspersions as opposed to theirs. Yet, sometimes it still hurts. I urge my friends not to own the maliciousness and understand that the detractors may well be criticizing themselves.

In the interest of full disclosure, I have been the object of stereotypical descriptions, too; however, not so callous. Some call me a SINK - Single Income No Kids; others have identified me as SINBAD - Single Income No Boyfriend and Desperate. I have also received the nickname of SPUD Single Person Urban Dwelling, and there is the most recent contribution of Free-male, that one is self-explanatory. However, if you ask me to identify myself, I will always tell that I am very happy. This never married far from 30 urban dweller wakes up every morning anticipating the gifts of the day.

I embrace my single life and do so with hilarity. After years of restlessness, insecurity, and suffering with the disease to please, I have finally arrived at a place where I am free. I am free of trying to be what he wanted me to be, free of trying to be who he wanted me to be, free of being a victim,

• 1
• 2
• 3
• next page >>

---

Add your voice

Know something about Testimonies: Single after 40?
We want to hear your view. Write now!