by Ann Hunter

Created on: June 01, 2008

As I sit here typing,I catch myself glancing over at the calendar .I have the thirteenth of June circled in red,partly for me,partly for my husband.It will be our twenty-first anniversary.It seems strange to me ,that I have been married to this man for half of my life.I think for the most part,we are like a lot of other people.Our years together have been mixed with kids(the eldest with autism),bills,and all the rest that comes with life.It seems that there are endless things that need done.

From running our daughter, ,to making our way through the endless hoops ,for the much needed services that our son requires. .For a few years ,we did not get the chance to have much "alone time",due to our sons behaviors.Then ,when things settled down,we were both to tired to care.Over the years ,there have been times when I have asked him if things were alright.He would reply"yeah"and that would be that.Even when we would go months at a time ,barely speaking ,seldom touching.I would ask ,and receive the same reply.After awhile I just quit asking.

I really hadn't given any thought to "us" for quite awhile.I am not really sure I even would have,had it not been for a motorcycle trip last week.
It was a great trip,perfect weather,good friends,and beautiful views.The evenings were spent around the hotel courtyard,drinking a few beers,eating,and just enjoying the whole adult atmosphere.It was one of these evenings ,that I caught myself watching my husband interact with our friends.The laughter rolled from him,conversation was so easy flowing ,and seemingly endless.I would not have guessed ,this to be the same man that I married.
While I stood there watching him,my heart got a little heavy.It has been years ,since he has been that way with me.

One night as we layed in bed,my head resting on his chest.I decided to ask him what happened to "us".His reply was honest ,but painfully so.He told me,he thought that all the circumstances in our lives,have lead us to take things out on each other.Not by yelling ,and screaming,but by doing things that would hurt in other ways.I can't count the days that I would ignore him,or all the nights he would roll away from me.
Its funny at times ,the things that happen.As we layed there that night finally touching, talking,and even laughing .I felt a single tear roll down my cheek.It had been years,since he has been that way with me.

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