by Aly Kempland

Created on: May 31, 2008

As everyday passes by, I begin to wonder how much there really is out there for me. I understand fully that I have great friends, a home, and amazing brothers but there has to be more. I need to find out what that something is, before it is too late.

I have spent my entire childhood, growing up and not living it. I have taken care of everyone but myself. I have given everything I have to people who deserve it way more then me... because the saying still goes.. you can't take what you have when you leave this place. I, honestly, think its about damn time that something goes right in my life.

All these built up feelings need to be written down, the oppression, depression, anger, love, hate, patience, and the happiness which believable or not, I have endured. All of which have been bottled up in the back of my brain, and are just inching their way out... until one day I am just going to explode and take some people down. Ha. Hope it doesn't come to that, which it won't... figuratively speaking of course. I couldn't hurt a fly... everyone knows that.

It just puts a lot of sense to life. "Pain" It's one of those things we never want. But its a feeling that in a way feels good. Feelings are those kinds of things you cant ever describe. Its like getting a tattoo... It hurts so much, but the pain is just so addicting. That is why many people go back for more. Its a good feeling, pain. I guess where I'm getting at is sometimes Pain is a good thing, sometimes you have to pinch yourself to make sure your alive.

I love it how one day your life can be completely ruined, you can feel like there is no reason to move any farther. Then that one person comes along and makes you feel like you're something, something worth staying around for. It's a crazy feeling only because no one feels it. Being not wanted is a pain, it makes your heart hurt, throb, it makes you scream, and cry until there's no more tears left... its a horrible feeling. I, for one, hate it but being wanted, being loved, its also a pain. A more worse pain then being unwanted, unloved...is being in love. You can't breathe, your heart continuously skips beats, the annoying butterflies in your stomach, your mind races a mile a minute, your eyes only see that one love...now on top of that beautiful pain, you have fear. The fear of losing that pain, because for some odd reason it feels good, the fear of that person not feeling that love about you... and then comes heartbreak, the craziest way I can describe it, goes

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