Chronic Pain is something that affects millions. It can make people who once were active in sports, arts, and other daily lifestyles almost foreign to the lives they once knew. Because of its' severity, this debilitating condition plays a major role in unemployment. I am just one of a few people in my family that lives with it daily.

I was very active in football, volleyball, tennis, badminton, skating, body building, and dancing. I started dancing and skating at age 3. Skating was just a hobby I participated in 3 nights every week. Dance, however, was my life. At age 12, I was accepted into the competition dance team of the studio I was a member of. Little did I know that after dozens of competitions, the gold medal I brought home from my first national competition would be my last. I was only 14. Not only did I have to give up the cdt at such a young age, I was forced to hang up my dance shoes for good at age 17. My dream of attending Juliard had come to a screeching halt.

I did not know growing up that I had a degenerative disease affecting my knees that wouldn't rear its' ugly head until the height of my teen years. From years of constant high-impact sports and pushing myself beyond the limits, I damaged my knees. For the last ten years, I have been living with chronic pain. It is something that do not wish on my worst enemy.

Most would say "Take some aspirin" or "See a doc and get a prescription". This is not easy by far. After taking numerous meds for so long, my body has built up an immunity to pain killers and anti-inflammatories. Physical therapy might be an option for some, and not work so well with most. After two surgeries and my third round of therapy, my knees gave up on me, I surely did not give up on them. It is hard, and sometimes impossible, to even walk a flight of stairs or drive more than 10 minutes. Most days, you can find me on my couch surrounded in ice packs or heating pads with a bottle of pills that work like M&Ms. I had to quit my job 6 years ago, now my husband is the sole provider for our family of 5. This has put a stand still on my life, and the lives of those around me.

More than half of all people that suffer from chronic pain also suffer from depression. It is the thought of "Will I ever be normal again?" or "Why did this happen to me?", and so many other unanswered questions that causes the depression. One might begin to give up on life in general. I know I have quite a few times. Fortunately, I have loving friends and family around me to help keep my spirits high and renew my faith. Some are not this fortunate, and have to go through it alone, making depression even worse. I pray for these people, since I really don't know where I would be, or if I would even still be alive if it wasn't for my loved ones.

I still have hopes that one day, I will be able to play football with my sons, or dance with my daughter. My children are the lights of my life, and deserve better than what I feel I can give them. Mommy time is not a privilege, it's a right and it's something I will fight for with all of my strength.

For information on Chronic Pain, including causes, symptoms, and treatments, contact:

The ACPA, PO Box 850, Rocklin, CA 95677
Phone: 1-800-533-3231 - Fax: (916) 632-3208
Email: ACPA@pacbell.net
or visit their website at:
www.theacpa.org

Learn more about this author, Kimberlee Tanner.
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