by James Johnson

Created on: May 31, 2008

College has never been a fair arena. For most of history people were locked out of college for want of cash. Or sex and race were barriers. Or your father's social status was an obstacle. Business and government tip the scales with their thumbs and feet all the time. Because they want to guarantee the results they want. Merit is for chumps with change. Merit is always Miss Congeniality and never Miss America.

College is all about getting the right ticket punched. The sheepskin is all that matters. It's a gateway that let's us' through and keeps them' out. The process mirrors real life.

What a college diploma means is you completed a difficult goal and didn't get caught breaking rules and left no finger-prints. That's all anyone cares about when you go looking for work with your degree: Can you get the sale or the plans or the guns without going to jail or embarrassing the board of directors too much. Don't ask, don't tell.

Ghost writing is just one of the many tools available to the motivated student who uses sex, politics, money, family connections, ethnicity, test scores, flattery, larceny, or brains to get the grade and move the ball forward for a first down. It's the successful performance that counts, here in the land of the free and the home of the brave. No one intentionally scrutinizes the manufacture of sausage or even war heroes.

It's common knowledge that military officers rarely merit the awards they get, and the common soldiers almost never get the awards they earned. I mean, if you can pretend something didn't happen, you can also pretend it did. I recall an incident from Vietnam; the military wanted to reward a good ol boy whose performance was breathtakingly ordinary, if that. The man needed a promotion for retention in the military, but lacked any reasonable qualifications to warrant elevation above his peers. It was either up or out. Not a problem. His friends invented a heroic tale about the man's deeds that would have impressed Davy Crockett and George Washington. The yarn was so good the man was promoted, received the Soldier of the Month award, and got his picture in STARS & STRIPES.

The modern meaning of merit is loser.' Everyone gets a trophy, everyone gets a gold star, everyone makes the Honor Roll. Extra credit is based on your sexuality, ethnic group, political philosophy, and juvenile criminal record. Merit means you have no friends that matter, and you're likely a toothless sociopath. Ghost writing is proof you cover your bases and take care of business; it's proof you're no deviant.

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