It's not news that at least half of all marriages in the United States end in divorce. The statistic is proof it can be difficult to truly predict the outcome of 1 out of 2 marriages.
Because of this, prenuptial agreements should become not only as routine, but as required as, marriage licenses. It's a piece of paper, just like that marriage certificate after the ceremony; however, it, too is a legal document that gives each person protection from one other in the event that things don't work out.
The reasons for the breakups are as diverse as the people involved. People don't expend a great effort in really getting to know the other person. Add to that, Generation Xers and younger generations grew up in the age of instant gratification, so they don't really understand or practice the concept of "working it out." Furthermore, there are a number of instances where manipulation is the key in either the consummation or the demise of a marriage.
Consider these examples:
A man wines and dines a woman during their dating and engagement period, and once they are married, refuses to be seen with her, calls her stupid and, as the breadwinner, hordes his money while making her pay the majority of the bills with her $10 an hour wage, as well as perform all the housework. They are still married, but likely to be headed for divorce court.
A man, who is a heavy drinker, straightens up at his girlfriend's insistence. She eventually becomes his fiance, and he promises to take care of her and provide a good life. So the woman, who is a single mother of two, sells her home at a loss and trades-in her note-free car for an SUV. Two weeks after they are married, he resumes drinking at the bar every night and hits her infrequently. On two occasions, he drains thousands from their savings account, most of which she brought into the marriage, to fund a gambling addiction. He is a sales professional and the breadwinner, making $50,000 or more each year. All the while, she keeps the house well cared for and raises his severely dysfunctional young children. After several years of marriage, she files for divorce. During the divorce proceedings, he proclaims to the judge that she never managed the household and did not provide appropriate care to his two children. The judge believes him. Although he is required to pay a cash settlement 20% of his annual income the ex-wife, a non-professional wage earner, is left to re-finance a second SUV he insisted upon buying two years prior and pay thousands of dollars in credit card bills for which he charged his fair share.
The straw that breaks the camel's back for one woman is when her husband withholds their money from her, to the point where she has to ask for money to get gas to go to work and she receives $3. She leaves her husband one night, taking her two children with her. This infuriates the husband, and he begins to mount a case against her to gain custody of the children. And no tale was off limits. Witnesses were called in to verify depositions. They crossed out substantial parts of the officials statements made by the husband, contending events described did not happen in the manner they were portrayed. The husband continued to tell his side of the story, one very different from the wife's, and was believed by the judge. (The same judge as the prior example.) Custody was granted to the father and the mother, again the lower wage earner in the household, was ordered to pay $200 in child support each month. Happily, after about a year, the father's new girlfriend reported concerns about the children's welfare. Currently, the mother has custody and is petitioning for permanent sole custody.
Another reason for a mandatory pre-nup:
A man and his wife, who were married for 20+ years, decide to divorce. The wife tells the judge that she did not work so she could raise their children, and although she has a degree, would not be able to support herself at the same level without alimony. The judge takes sympathy upon the woman and orders the man to pay $1,000 a month for 10 years, setting a record for an alimony settlement in the county. (Note: Many divorce settlements require about $400 per month for a duration of 2 10 years, depending on the length of the marriage.)
These are just a few real-life examples from a small town in the Midwest, and I would say that fairness, honesty and justice, whether inside or out of the courtroom, do not prevail in most divorce cases.
Broaching the subject with a fianc can be awkward, to say the least. When you're talking about love and honor, in sickness and health, how do you bring up "what if it doesn't work?" A mandatory agreement solves this problem and prevents either person from being taken advantage or manipulated.