by Jerri Akins

Created on: May 31, 2008

I have heard it said that the only way to be happy is to try to make others so. For the longest time I believed in the wisdom of that adage and even preached it a little. But then one day I sat down to think through that magical formula and found that I had questions.

What if I try to make someone happy, and he or she doesn't want to be happy? What then? Do I continue to try to make them happy, and if so, for how long? What if they become so put-out with my efforts that I actually end up annoying them? Will I still be happy just because I tried? I hardly think so. I think I'll be quite exasperated, because if my happiness depends on that person's happiness, and that person is bound and determined to NOT be happy, that rather leaves me in a lurch, now doesn't it? I could forever be in search of someone to make happy.

What if, in fact, being "blue" makes someone happy? Maybe they are even working out the lines to a nice country and western song that could make them rich, and here I come and force them out of their "blues," and they can't complete the song. Will they be happy then? I think not. And with that formula, if they are not happy, then I cannot be. If, on the other hand, I had left them alone with their blues, they would be happy and rich to this very day, and I would not have a lawsuit.

But let's say that I do succeed in making someone happy. How long must their happiness last before I know the formula "took"? If they become sad the next day, will my happiness suddenly evaporate? Or, if I don't know they became sad (like the tree falling silently in the forest), will my happiness continue because I have done my duty?

No, it seems to me there are too many holes in that formula, so I have come up with my own variation of it. If I do a simple act of kindness for someone, and it brings a smile to their face or gratitude to their heart, isn't that really enough? Granted, one simple act of kindness and one smile hardly constitutes happiness, but to my way of thinking, that's about all you can hope for on any given day.

On some days you might get in two or three nice gestures, and you will likely feel very good about yourself. But let me caution you about doing the same little nice things for the same people over and over. If you keep doing the same nice things for people, after awhile, they may begin to expect it, even demand it, until they become quite angry with you for not doing your little special thing. Where's the happiness in that? Hm?

Laughter is another

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