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I write from experience on this subject. I learned way too much about my spouse working side by side. In the beginning, it was nice spending both day and night with the person I chose to love. Back then, I believed it would be great. It was not. After a few years and shortly before the break-up, we fought about everything. Living and working together gave us so much ammunition to throw at each other it got ugly. To make matters worse, we owned the business so many of our battles were in the publics eye and never in the privacy of our home. To be honest, when you spend 24/7 with someone you have no privacy.

We began disagreeing on everything because we are different people. They say opposites attract and as a couple it worked. In the workplace, it did not. As co-workers the familiarity couples share gave way to lots of honesty. The kind of honest reflection that can hurt, and did hurt. Where-as some co-workers may just keep quiet, spouses rarely do. In the end, the same reasons we were attracted to each other when we met, began tearing us apart. We are both very honest people.

For us, our differences controlled our finances. This caused a lot of grief when placing blame for financial losses. Now, I know it's not right to place blame. However, when you disagree on something and that something causes the loss of thousands of dollars, a lot more than honest reflection flies. As I said earlier, it got ugly. Familiarity definitely breeds contempt.

Although we still share the business, we no longer share a life together. On some days when looking back, I feel a slight sadness over our breakup. I wonder if we never worked together would we have made it. I feel when you live and work with someone, you see a part of them you may not want to see. The same goes for them as I'll admit to a few moments of outward hostility.

We now have separated work schedules so not to work at the same time. Some of the battles are still there, however they do not affect the quality of our lives. We get along fairly well for ex's that work together. Our transition from loving partners to business partners was hard and took a couple years to adjust.

I am a think-aholic and mostly do the paper-work and business planning. My Ex is a work-aholic who is the heart and soul of our business. Without hard work our business would not be such a success. Without my direction, the same is true. Life is funny like that. We started out as friends, became lovers and then co-workers. Twenty-five years later we have become each other's best friend all over again. I'm happy we have finally found a ground to share, yet as I said, I still wonder what would have happened if we had never worked together.

I believe we learned too much about each other. There was little to share about our days as we already knew what was happening in each others day. Life became mundane. Working with a spouse made me feel as I was always working. Work occupied 99 percent of our conversations. Our friends from work were the same people. In some ways, it stunted our growth as individuals. For some, working with a spouse may be a good thing. For us, it was not.

Learn more about this author, Cyn Lee.
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