People gasp and grimace and shake their heads when I mention eating out alone and without feeling lonely.
"I could never do that," she might say.
"I hate knowing that everyone is watching me," he might explain.
Or my favorite, "I always feel sorry for the people alone at restaurants."
If you're single, dating, married, divorced, or still just a kid - stop being silly. Eating out on your own is liberating and fun, if you do it right. It is a sacred time when you give yourself permission to put the world aside and let your soul breathe, wrapping yourself in the warmth of a good meal filled with texture, aroma, vibrant freshness, and of course, taste. Because, let's face it - if you're making the effort to take yourself out to dinner, you may as well take yourself somewhere good. Life is too short to splurge on fast food.
My first "single meal" was when I was 17 years old. I was already working full time as a men's department manager in a local store, a monotonous job full of sameness - same pricing of merchandise, same straightening of neck ties, same soft rock radio station, same bargain-hunting customers giving me a hard time. I still lived at home, had no boyfriend, and all my friends were still finishing high school, where I had graduated early.
Though I knew it simply wasn't done by people my age, I decided one night, after eight mind-numbing hours of retail work, that I'd take myself out to a nice dinner and a movie. After finishing work, I walked down the street of my hometown of Bozeman, Montana, to John Bozeman's Bistro.
I'll never forget the faces of the host staff when I requested a table for one. Perhaps they whispered amongst themselves later that I must be older than I looked. Regardless, they cheerfully obliged my request and led me to a quiet, private, dark wooden booth.
I recall with sweet fondness the smooth, buttery pasta dish I ate that night, served with a healthy sprig of rosemary sticking directly out of the center. I remember feeling, as the flavors did their magic dance inside my mouth, like I was in a little bit of heaven, and that experiencing it on my own made it that much stronger. I am already a slow eater, but that night I lingered over that meal with new lengths. Every detail, every ingredient, was cooked to perfection.
When the dessert menu came, I did not even look at the prices. I simply ordered what sounded best, chocolate mousse with a cup of strong, dark coffee. I finished the night with a sigh of utter contentment, then paid with a generous tip and left the warm cafe to the blustery winds of February and my awaiting movie.
Needless to say, this is a tradition I still uphold, though I can't always afford to take myself out to dinners as nice as the one just described. However, it's not really about the expense, if you just know where to go in a given town. And, in all fairness, it is true that a single person my have a hard time enjoying some restaurants the way friends and couples can. A date with yourself at The Melting Pot, for instance, may indeed look pitiful and feel depressing. Likewise, buffets are rarely wise choices.
Below I list a few (only a small sampling!) of my favorites from places I've frequented around the USA and Ireland. These are tried and true, and most are fairly low-priced. I encourage you to try some or all - and on your own. If you're not near any of these places, do some experimenting on your own.
Many chain restaurants offer nice ambience for solo eaters - Johnny Carino's, Panera Bread Co., Cracker Barrel and Claddagh restaurants are some of my favorites that are in many US cities. Another option is "Mom and Pop" places that dot small towns across the world, or, even better, all the little no-name cafes you'll find in larger cities. I could eat out alone for months in places like New York or Boston and never have a bad experience.
If you've never eaten out by yourself, you may feel a bit awkward at first, but the trick is to not think about anyone or anything else in the room. (Unless you are a people-watcher, and then the shoe is on the other foot!) But for the most part, all that exists is you, your server, and that succulent plate of goodness crying for your attention like the world's most neglected lover.
BREAKFAST and LUNCH Scholar's Inn Bakehouse 701 Broadripple Avenue, Indianapolis, IN or 125 North College Avenue, Bloomington, IN Take a book in on a Sunday morning and find the ultimate relaxation with one of their cinnamon rolls, bagels or coffeecakes with a boiling mug of special blend coffee.
La Parrilla 1628 W. Babcock Street Bozeman, MT Try and find a seat on the front porch if you can, put your shades down, and bite into the best burrito/wrap you may ever have.
Jaffa's Cafe
Fitzwilliam Court, 11b Dyer Street Drogheda, Co. Louth, Ireland This sunny little place taught me how well chicken and brie go together. Lovely for lunch or breakfast, resonably priced (7 - 15 per meal), and gives you a great view of the river and Millmount Tower, fodder for your single imagination.
DINNER Taj of India 5929 East 82nd Street Indianapolis, IN This is what Indian food should taste like. Hidden in a strip mall, you might not guess that this quiet, private little restaurant with friendly staff could become one of your local favorites when dining alone.
Cafe Internationale 622 West Mendenhall Bozeman, MT Try for a table during afterhours as this place is small. If the weather is nice, the patio is a good choice as you'll definitely want to linger in your thoughts over whatever delectable meal you choose from an extensive menu.
Nude 21 Suffolk Street Dublin 2, Dublin, Ireland A great value for great healthy, flavorful, mostly-organic food. An easy place to stop in and grab a bread bowl of soup while you're out on the town. You may share a long wooden table and bench with someone else, but you'll find lots of solo eaters here.