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Humor: Writing while inebriated

by Denis Vogt

Created on: May 31, 2008

Righ..WryteWRI-ting While Inn..In-knee..InebriatedEdHic!

There's all kinds of things you simply cannot and (should) not do while in..Ine-Drunk!
Driving, getting married, doing your taxes online, meeting your in-laws, and (of course!) playing online poker for reel, er-REAL money. It just makes Sense, right?
Ho-kay, then For all of you who know in your heart of hearts that doing (some) thinks-um-Things while your Sloshed isn't such a gr8-GREAT idea; I have Good news! Writing while intocks-intox-intoxi-Drunk! ISN'T on that list-in Fact, I Highly recco-recko-rec. I highly Advise it!


Subject madder-MATTER comes much quicker and eezier-EASIER than if you're Not bombed out-of-your mind, your mind is Much more Open to new thots-um, Thoughts and ideas, AND! You get the Added bonus of not giving a &^%$! about that pain-in-the-*ss Spell-Check! Chek! CHECK! (Hey! I never said I didn't NEED it-just that it's a frikkin' Pain, ok?!?)
Having a few "too many" can actually Inn-crease..Increase your writing output, AND help you to "think Inside of the botox!" (Sorry-I MEANT-"think OUTSIDE of the BOX!") If you're used to writing sappy pove loems, umLove poems-you can easily put That Oprah-nonsense aside and write things like Horror movie scripts, political hughmore-HUMOR, and even "How To" guides on everything from ridding yourself of an Annoying (and seemingly Eternal) mother-in-law, to mowing the lawn while naked (Weed Whackers-PLEASE be careful!) and even "How To SuckseedSucksDO cooking with Herbs!" You can bran chout-BRANCH OUT and discover a whole new writing You (thank you, Theodore Geisel!) while perfeckPurrfeck Doing GOODER than you would Normally do!
I (person-ully) reccoReckSUGGEST bee-ginning with a cocktale-TAIL or 3, followed by a Long Ilsnad, ISLAND Iced Tea, a shot of Yagg..Yaeg..YAG, and continue On with some Tild Wurkey-um, crap! I mean- Wild Turkey! (You'll bee A-mazed at the thinks-THINGS you can create when you've done all that!
And the Best part iz-when you're Dun? You not only won't care WHAT you wroted it, how you've spelled-ded it, but (no madder WHAT it is)-you'll be blown AWAY with how Easy it wuz, and just how darned Cree-a-tive you really Are!
I'm on a dead lyne heer, so-I gotta Get. (To the liquor store, that is!) To my fellow drunks (I mean-Writerz!)-I hope to see you Soon! (I'll probably forget my wallet at the booze store, so REALLY-I Hope to see you there!)
Till NEXT thyme-Wite Wrell, He Bappy, and don't waste too much thyme at the beykoard!



5/31/08

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