by Lisa Powell

Created on: May 31, 2008

First of all, lets assume that we are going to live to the ripe old age of eighty-something! This gives us a place to start mid-life, our forties. It used to be that only men had mid-life crisis. The myth was at age forty men changed their appearances, bought fancy sports cars and started dating their young hot secretaries. This also meant that they left their wives and kids.

There were also all kinds of reasons why men did this. They were feeling their age and just longed for the way they felt when they were younger. They weren't getting the same satisfaction from life that they once had. Or possibly they weren't getting something at home that they needed. Whatever the reasons, it was pretty much a male disorder.

In today's society it is no longer just men who go through this crazy unstable time of life. Women are falling victim to mid-life crisis as well. Women are leaving their husbands and children and homes in search of the same things men have been searching for, for years. They are longing for the beauty of their youth, the escape of responsibilities and a renewed excitement for life, just like their male counterparts.

Let's break life down a bit more, shall we? How about in 20 year increments? In most cases if you have not left home by the time you are 20 years old, you are probably ready to explode. You have been in your parent's house and under their rule all your life. You want out! For some, college is the answer, for others it maybe the military or some type of job that helps you gain your independence. You need to change your life. You feel trapped and angry. It is a crisis.

In the next 20 years, you get your education, start a career, find a companion and start a family. You now have bills to pay and probably a mortgage and are raising children. Now you know the meaning of responsibilities. Life is filled with ups and downs. Marriages and families and careers take over and start weighing you down. You want to escape! One day you wake up and you are 40! Where did the time go? Where did my looks and my dreams go? This is another crisis.

If we can manage to get through these two times in our lives without losing everything we worked so hard for, then we have accomplished a huge feat. But don't be fooled into thinking it won't happen again in another 20 years. Think back on all the 60 year old men you have seen with younger women. Yes it is bound to happen again.

Why do you think most careers allow you to retire after 20 years? Because you can only do something for so long before you become overwhelmed or bored and must find an escape. Life is a crisis, the way one deals with it is how well it turns out in the end.

I am 45 and my husband is 51. We have BOTH had our life crisis. We are still together and hopefully will be for the next ones. They are not easy but nothing is. Just remember usually these feelings of unhappiness and wanting to escape are not lasting. Stop and wait it out. Seek counseling if need be. And don't be afraid of change. We all need change to make life interesting again. Talk it over together and make changes that you both can live with. Don't forget it is human nature to want to escape.

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