by Rayna Reyst

Created on: May 31, 2008

Mothers. They can be absolutely insane. Moms. They can be the most loving people in the entire universe! My mom is one-of-a-kind. She listens to Metallica, Three Days Grace, Plays DND, is attending college for her masters in Pschology, and we bond by watching reruns of Heroes on the couch for hours at a time. basically what I am saying is that my mother rocks and I wouldn't change her for the world. Another one of her redeeming qualities is that she can laugh at herself. This story following is just a great example of how ridiculous my mom is. We share this story any tim possible. She even laughs a little bit.

I am the daughter of a divorced couple. A civilly divorced couple so my parents share their time equally with me. Traveling back and forth between houses, in combination with being the oldest child, I of course get to be on the receiving end of any trash talk my parents dish out against each other. It gets pretty ugly.
"Your father used to get drunk off his rocker when I was with him! I had to hold his head over the toilet every night! He was such an unreliable, drunk, party animal! Plus he was too old for me!"
"Your mother is an obnoxious woman. She is actually a little crazy! She doesn't know how to control her anger whatsoever. Plus she was too youg for me!"
"Your father-" this and "your mother-" that. They have said so many spiteful things about each other that even I, a girl in High School, has cringed once or twice. Especially my barb tongued dear old mommy.
My mom is a little crazy! She loses her temper all the time, but the cool thing is she is okay with the fact that we turn it all into a big joke. For example...
-My mom had been having an extremely trying day. She was already pretty cranky by the time we sat down for dinner. She still managed to make us some delicious spaghetti though. I had the good sense to just leave my mother be, but my little sister, didn't have that sense.
"Euwww, mommy I HATE the red things in this spaghetti!"
My sisters whiny voice cut through the peaceful atmosphere. My mom whipped her head around so that she was facing my sister, about 8 at the time and said;
"CORAL! I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR ANYTHING OUT OF YOU FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT, UNLESS YOU ARE MISSING A FINGER... OR YOU ARE BLEEDING. INTERNALLY!"
My sister sat there staring at my mother shocked and dumbfounded as she caught her breath.
My mom, being who she is didn't even stop after her bout of yelling. She just reached across the table, grabbed up the Parmesan cheese sprinkled some on her spaghetti and ever so calmly asked my sister;
"Would you like some cheese?"
The look on my little sister's face was priceless. She looked as if she expected a poisonous snake to come slithering out of the cheese container.
"Yes please" she croaked.
She never once mentioned "red things" ever again. That was 2 years ago.

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