O, you know who you are! All you women out there with "baby hunger"! Because of one thing or another, either you ended up with no children of your own, or your children are gone and out of the nest, and their is a deep and longing void in your life.
Instead of moping around and feeling all unfulfilled, it's time to pull yourself together and do something about it! You need a "baby substitute" and you need it fast, so that you can once again function like a normal human being.
Being childless myself, I have had plenty of baby substitutes over the years. I have rescued countless guinea pigs and given them sanctuary. Stray cats always tug at my heartstrings too. I have an entire barn devoted to stray cats! Add to the mix, a few sick rabbits that no one wanted to care for because it took daily maintenance to keep them alive. My latest bunny is a little Holland Lop who has a chronic eye problem. This poor little guy needs antibiotics everyday, and needs his eye cleansed twice a day. This started two years ago. This rabbit is now 7 years old, but he hangs in there, so how can I not help the little guy out? It's what women do who have an over supply of nurturing emotions.
We live on a farm, so we always have a variety of dogs running around. These are "dog's dogs"! They love humans, but they love other dogs more, and they have a pack mentality, and I might add, their own little world and all that implies. The only time they end up in the house is in the middle of winter when the barn is a little too cold for them, or whenever they can sneak into the house for some treats, which is at least once a day.
I always tried not to get too emotionally attached to any of these dogs, because I did not want dogs in the house and the house training accidents. Usually these dogs sleep in a dog crate on the nights they come in from the cold, and in the morning they can't wait to get outside again to make sure the squirrels are off the yard. They have a tough job, but someone has to do it, those squirrels would take over the yard if the dogs did not patrol them everyday.
All was good and well in my little zoo of a world. I had my animals in the barn, and I had my nice, neat, clean, clutter free, childless, animal-less house. Like many other childless women, I am fussy about my house. I don't like clutter or accumulations of any kind. Everything is put away in it's proper place where I can find it again when I need it. My home was a place of calm and peacefulness, and looked very much like it could have come out of the pages of a magazine! Martha Stewart would have approved!
As you may have noticed, I am speaking in the past tense here, "Martha Stewart would have approved"! All of that was before Heidi! Heidi Anna to be exact, the name I always had reserved for a little blond girl all my own.
You know that old saying? Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it! Due to circumstances way beyond my control, I became the mother to an adorable 5 week old ball of blond fluff. They say people look like their pets, well, Heidi and I even have the same shade of blond hair. It was simply meant to be. Heidi's real mother, half poodle, half Yorkshire terrier, was hit on the road. She left behind 4 pups that needed a home. It only took a few days to find other women like me who went ga-ga over these helpless balls of fur! To make it even worse, it was the middle of winter, not the best time to get a new puppy and expect to get it house trained.
Well, well Heidi is a smart little pup, but house training a dog is not all that easy, even under the best of circumstances. Because we were having a cold, intense winter, sending Heidi outside to do her job was simply not even an option. Would you put a newly born baby outside alone in the cold? You get the idea. So, to Petco we did go, and they have the most wonderful things there. They make it sound oh so easy to teach your puppy where to go potty. They have these things called puppy pads, which are impregnated with a certain scent that says to your puppy, do your job here!
I bought all the miracle products at Petco that would turn little Heidi into a super pup of sorts. I read the directions on the puppy pad bags, did everything they told me to do. What do you think happened? Heidi sniffed around and peed nowhere near the puppy pad. Instead, one of the barn dogs came up to the puppy pad, took a big healthy sniff, and peed copiously and freely, and might I add, with great lust and vigor. It was like the barn dog was showing off for Heidi, like "Hey this is how you do it dummy!" After that demonstration, Heidi took the puppy pad in her teeth, and ran around with it, waving it like a big white "I surrender" flag! I have to admit it was kind of cute, at first! Every time I put a puppy pad down, the barn dogs peed on it, and then Heidi either shredded it, or ran around with it, she did everything but pee and poop on it.
I have done my share of cleaning in my day, but with Heidi, it was an hourly thing. Finally, just when I thought all hope was gone, Heidi started to go pee in a litter box. I set up a litter box for her, just the way you would set up a kitty litter box, only it was a very large litter box. About four times the size you would use for a cat, and I did not use cat litter. I used wood chips, the kind you buy for rabbits or guinea pigs. Seven months later, Heidi rarely has a pee accident, she is very good about going in her litter box.
Of course it took a good two months before she really got the hang of it. In two months, a puppy can do a lot of peeing on your carpet, and nothing could have made me realize that more than the first warm, humid day of spring, when suddenly my pristine house of old, smelled like something really gross. It took me another 2 months of cleaning and research on the Internet until I found out how to get rid of those awful pee odors without ripping up my carpet and putting in new! I was very careful to clean up any known accidents, first absorbing as much a possible with paper toweling, and then spraying thoroughly with rubbing alcohol, which I also used for the poop accidents, another problem. I finally found out that borax or borateem, completely removed pee odors, and was a lot cheaper than the commercial products that did not seem to do all that much.
Heidi is a high maintenance dog. Although she faithfully pees in her litter box, she has yet to poop in one, even when the barn dogs showed her what to do! Add to cleaning up dog poo on a regular basis, Heidi needs regular hair cuts and grooming, which I do myself. She also needs her eyes and face and ears washed almost daily. Now it is tick season where we live. As I would never even dream of exposing Heidi to the harsh chemicals in commercial flea and tick collars, I have found a natural deterrent that works well. It is called pine tar soap, and the ticks and fleas stay away from it because they hate the odor. There is a drawback, Heidi needs to be sprayed daily with it. That can be an ordeal, because she does not like being sprayed, and she can be just as difficult as any spoiled child. She can even whimper and pout like a human baby, it is simply unbelievable.
And, so we come to the end of this saga. My "baby substitute" is keeping me busy. When she looks at me with her big brown eyes, and cute little flat face, my heart gives a little flutter. I doubt I could have more love for a human child, or could worry less about her well being.
When I call her name and she comes running towards me with her little ears flopping in the breeze, I am filled with pride! Every time I teach her something new, and she actually does it, it makes me feel so good. And, miracles never cease! Just today, I took my "baby" outside and she did her poo job, just like the barn dogs! Then she dug a big hole, laid down and rolled in the dirt.
Needless to say, I had to give her a bath, because she sleeps right on top of me, all night long. No matter how many times I move her, she comes right back again. Do I really mind it? No, it just makes me love her more.
Dogs are totally joyous beings! Heidi makes me happy just watching her run across the yard. It's all worth it, all the cleaning, all the worry, all the extra work! I love my little doggie, and I am so happy I have her! As Martha would say, "It's a good thing". It's a very good thing!