by Meghan R. Coleman

Created on: May 30, 2008   Last Updated: March 09, 2012

My parents never abused me. My step-children have been introduced into this foreign concept to me. The other morning, my oldest had gotten up before me and was talking to his grandma (my mother). I over heard somethings that were being said about the dream that he had the night before.

"Grandma," he says. "I had a dream last night."

"Oh yeah, what about?" My mom answered as sweetly as she used to me.

"I was dreaming about my two moms, and my two dads. I was supposed to choose between them. My other mom, the one that doesn't live here, she used to hurt me. So did my other dad, he hurt me a lot. So I was thinking to my self... why leave if my mommy and daddy here don't hurt me. I like living here."

It's sad to here him talk about his biological mother. I know that he misses her. I also get the feeling sometimes that he feels bad for missing her. He knows and understands what she has done to him and his brother. He feels hate towards her and her husband (mostly the husband), and can't choose which feeling he should have.

While watching a movie one day he lipped what a child had said about his mother. This was a new movie, and he seemed to connect with the child and felt what he was going to say. "It wasn't my fault, it was mommy's choice."

My younger son, has different issues regarding the abuse that his bio-mother and step-father inflicted on him. Even before living with me now, he has always said that he wished he came out of my tummy. He still has trouble understanding that I am not his "new" mom, and his bio-father is not his "new" dad. When we explain reality to him, he gets upset, and goes into his "contemplating mode".

My children are 8 and 9 right now, and down the road, there are going to be harder roads for them to handle. It is hard to understand what kinds of thoughts are going on in their brain. I can't imagine the things that they have gone through produces very good images in their brain. They have never asked why these things have happened. They never seem to place much blame on their bio-mother, they always start out with, "My step-dad made my mom..."

It's not hard as being in their shoes, but watching them deal with the memories of their past is very heartbreaking. I am just glad they have a home with me. May someday they can live life to its potential. I just hope that I am ready for the question..."Why did my parents abuse me?"

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