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Have you ever attended a family function and came to the realization, that you share nothing in common, only the same genes and perhaps the last names? In that intance , you may feel as though you are a "persona non Gratia", a Latin term meaning person not welcomed or unwelcome person. Taking on the mantle of not caring is not an option, working through the drama and creating something you want for yourself is difficult, but very rewarding. Treat your family as though you are always invited to a pot luck. Always come with something. Not always an object or food, but intangible things, like a positive spirit,laughter, love and be sure to serve up healthy servings to those that usually don't share with you. This is not being phony, Just simply putting your best foot forward. You can avoid being emotionally bulldozed by expanding your territory and seeking out the spirit that you wish to receive. Some will try and hide it, just as some will try to hide their smiles , when they know that they really want to join in the laughter. Some may not speak, because they want to be spoken too first. Reading this, you might even surmise, "Why should I have to do all the work, just to get along.Stop and look at yourself as the best man for the job or the ambassador of "Good Will".

Please don't expect kudos and sometimes you might feel as though you are leaving empty handed. That is an untruth, because you have left with your emotions and dignity intact. Have you heard the phrase?,"Never let them see you sweat". The same holds true if you allow people to see and know they have gotten to you and have successfully diminished your self worth. No one can hold you in emotional bondage. Free your mind and rid yourself of past hurts. That was then and this is now. What do you want the gathering to be like? If your goal is that everyone just are amiable toward one another, then you must first show yourself amicable. if this sounds like a bunch of phoniness. I once thought the same way, but that was before I lost those people I once argued with and engaged in some ritualistic banter over who said what ten years ago.
At a graduation, the theme is progressive and moving forward. I would suggest treating each family gathering as an event or a theme of moving forward. You can count on that everyone will not be on one accord, but those that are on that positive train of thought should surely be welcomed aboard. Edification and encouragement of individuals is warranted and of course

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