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Unfortunately, marriages aren't taken as lifelong commitments anymore. Many people go into them with the attitude of it running it's course with divorce at the end...plain and simple. So right from the beginning it doesn't take a whole lot to sway a spouse from cheating. Some people either don't want to see the signs or choose to ignore them. It's very scary to force yourself to open your eyes to what's happening because of the uncomfortable outcome. So people go on in their unhappy marriages until someone reaches a boiling point and cheats! Sometimes it starts out very subtle with changes in daily routine such as, coming home from work late (unexpected meetings or projects), interest in appearance (new clothes, cologne, diet, exercise). Other times there are clues that are so obvious that you doubt them. All the sudden they get unexplained calls that they don't stay in the room for or get off the computer when you come in. They keep their cell phones on vibrate or mute and they never leave it lying around. In my case, my ex-husband started taking his phone to bed with him. He had also started running to get into shape for the new baby. I happened to be 6 months pregnant when he started cheating on me with a co-worker who happened to be a runner. He would take his cell phone running with him. He also started spending time with new friends from work. People that I had never met or had been invited to meet. There was also no intimacy left between us. The interest in me and the pregnancy was zero. At this point we were basically roommates in our house. I was busy getting ready for the baby and he was busy getting ready for his date. I had asked him several times if there was something going on and the answer was always no. There was no one else involved he was just nervous about the baby coming. Then I had decided that if he wasn't going to be honest I would have to figure it out on my own. I started looking at his bank statements on line. I found out where he was spending his money and kept track of where he told me he was spending his time when he left home. Of course, his stories were not lining up and the confrontation was not easy based on the fact that I confronted him a week before I gave birth to our daughter! He was very sorry and apologetic and said that he wanted to get help, stay married and raise our daughter. So I decided to give him another chance and see if we could somehow make this marriage last. When our daughter was a year and a half old he started behaving the same way he did when he had his first affair. I found out through more detective work that he was having another affair with someone else. I decided to cut my losses and move out with my daughter. He didn't even put up a fight this time. It was over and we both knew it. Someone said to me, "Once a cheater, always a cheater." One last word of advice....always trust your instincts.

Learn more about this author, Lisa Koczman.
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